Rapid growth and hormonal storms change the way you perceive yourself and your relationships with others. This revolution in the life of a teenager is also reflected in their studies. And the passion for modern technologies, new forms of communication and leisure becomes another cause of conflicts with parents.
Teach to learn
The transition to the 5th grade is accompanied by a change in the entire system of school activities. “There are many more teachers now, some tasks must be done for tomorrow, others for the next week,” reminds family psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya. — Each teacher has his own style, it becomes much more difficult to study. And many children are lost. The best way to help them is to teach them how to act in new circumstances.” Together you can make a lesson plan, put “reminders” on your phone, leaving the child responsible for completing the lessons.” At this age, a clear daily routine helps a lot. It is useful to teach your son or daughter to study at certain hours, and it is better before sitting down in front of the TV or computer. “Carefully following your studies, but not insisting on high results is such a difficult task for parents,” says child psychologist Elena Morozova. “If you expect great success from a student of this age, this can extinguish in him the desire to learn.” It is important that he understands: knowledge changes him, gives him confidence, it becomes more interesting to communicate with him.
Boost self-esteem
Modern schoolchildren despair too quickly. They give in to the slightest obstacles, refusing to make efforts if the result is not guaranteed. This is largely due to the fact that children do not trust themselves and are acutely aware of their incompetence. “Let the teenager himself be responsible for how he learns,” says Tamara Gordeeva. — Allow yourself to act. Competence is born only in activities, and quite complex ones, which can be a challenge for a child.” Help him understand his own feelings and desires, emphasize the strengths of the character. And do not make a tragedy out of mistakes and failures … It is useful for us to remember that school scores are an assessment of today’s knowledge of the child, but not of him as a person. In addition, during puberty, the interests of the child shift. In addition to studying, he begins to be interested in who is friends with whom, who said what, who betrayed whom. “He discovers the world of communication with peers,” explains Lyudmila Petranovskaya, “and interest in learning decreases for some period, especially among boys.”
loosen control
Younger teenagers especially need confident, fair and authoritative parents. “They expect adults to approve each of their work, set feasible tasks, respect their independence,” says Lyudmila Petranovskaya. Gradually loosen control, but be attentive to how the child lives. Parents who tightly control homework even in grades 7-8 can provoke anxiety and self-doubt in children. “For a teenager, the interest of adults in what is happening to him is important. Not to grades, but to the learning process, to his new interests and hobbies, says Tamara Gordeeva. Stop asking, “What are your grades?” But discuss what you read, talk about what interests you, ask your teenager to explain what he understands better than you, listen to him when discussing important family matters. In other words, take it seriously.» Your interest, support, not control motivates teenagers to learn. “They begin to understand that they do not go to school to please their parents,” explains Elena Morozova. “But if you repeat: “You need good grades, not me,” this will cause protest and resistance.”