Many psychotherapists believe that it is the removal of internal obstacles blocking the life path of their patients that is one of the main tasks of psychotherapy. Typical position: “The task of psychotherapeutic training is, first of all, to restore the ability of a person to cope with life situations on his own. Remove the interfering repetitive way of acting that leads to the problem. To return the ability to be creative so that a person can independently cope with his problems. Naturally, everyone will have their own way of coping. Similarly, Irvin Yalom, in The Gift of Psychotherapy, writes:
The most useful book (I read it as a student) for me was Karen Horney’s Neurosis and Human Development. And the most useful idea I found in this book was that every human being has a genetic propensity for self-actualization. If obstacles are removed, Horney believes, the personality will develop into a mature, fully realized adult, just like an acorn becomes an oak tree.
“Just like an acorn becomes an oak…” What a miraculously liberating and clarifying image! This position forever changed my approach to psychotherapy, gave me a new vision of my work: my task is to remove the obstacles that block the life path of my patients. I didn’t have to do all the work; I didn’t have to inspire the patient to grow, to inspire him with curiosity, will, lust for life, caring, loyalty, or the myriad other characteristics that make us truly alive. Not at all. The only thing I have to do is to identify and remove obstacles. Everything else, stimulated by the self-actualizing forces within the patient, would follow automatically.
Let’s note right away: the tendency to self-realization is not at all identical to the interest in personal growth and development. And despite the fact that psychotherapists are passionate about this, psychotherapy is not a kind of personal growth, and personal growth is not only psychotherapy, and most often not psychotherapy at all.
Here it is important to clarify what is considered internal obstacles. If (suddenly?) Lack of the necessary knowledge, skills and habits is considered internal obstacles, then yes, this should be eliminated and the necessary knowledge, skills and habits should be transferred to a person. However, this is an educational process, not psychotherapeutic assistance, and more often it is not called the search for interfering reasons, but simply teaching the necessary knowledge and skills.
It is possible that a person was not aware of something in his behavior, but the only correct awareness is a clear idea of the algorithm for subsequent actions.
It is possible that the underlying obstacles that block the life path of some patients really exist, and the help of psychotherapists, including medication, may be necessary. At the same time, with the help of popular psychotherapeutic literature, the myth has taken root in ordinary consciousness that a person “already has everything”, and only some blocks. It is enough to take them off — and immediately, without any additional efforts, by magic, all these virtues will be revealed in the little man.
No, it’s not. As a rule, this is not the case. If the child has not yet gone to school, then in order to acquire an education, he needs to go not to a psychotherapist, but to school. The main problem of our clients is not internal obstacles, but lack of education, culture and simply bad upbringing.
The search for internal problems and other reasons that prevent a person from living and developing is not always a mistake, sometimes it is an absolutely necessary step in finding solutions. However, if a person is looking for causes instead of looking for solutions, this becomes a mistake.
Request: “I want to understand myself”, “I want to understand why this happens to me in life” is one of the most popular requests for psychological counseling. He is also one of the most unconstructive. Clients who ask this question usually assume that they need to understand something about themselves, after which their life will improve. This question combines several typical desires: the desire to be in the spotlight, the desire to feel sorry for myself, the desire to find something that explains my failures — and, ultimately, the desire to solve my problems without really doing anything for it.
The search for reasons and blame is one of the most typical forms of the Victim’s position, one of the most popular topics on women’s forums.
… I recently discovered with horror that my perfectionism prevents me from building relationships with young people. I can not overpower myself, for me it’s a big stress. It’s not so much perfectionism as low self-esteem. You were probably brought up strictly and accustomed to the idea that love must be earned. You should not believe in this, because this way you will not be able to be happy: it will always seem to you that you have not yet earned love!
What is more correct: to deal with your complexes or not? The answer is the first, it is better to understand. And what is more correct: to deal with your complexes or to teach yourself effective behavior? The answer is the second. Working remotely is more efficient.
Therefore, when specialists of the synton approach sometimes speak negatively about psychotherapeutic work, this is not about the fact that psychotherapy does not help, is not needed and is not effective. Psychotherapy helps, is necessary and effective. And if the choice is this: psychotherapy or nothing? Answer: psychotherapy. But if there is already a choice between psychotherapy and healthy psychology, then healthy psychology is more effective for healthy people, teaching the client (or yourself) effective behavior. Distance is more efficient.
Dear colleagues! Before looking for internal obstacles and treating a person from them, first check whether the person has the knowledge, skills and abilities necessary for his tasks. No — a person needs to be taught, and not to look for internal causes and treat. If a person knows and knows everything, but the function does not work, only in this case look for the reasons, and do it competently, starting with the most obvious ones.