“When I started learning to read, my life completely changed. Before, my mother and I played different games and fooled around a lot. She said she loved me very much. In the evenings she used to read me fairy tales. How did I like it! After I went to prep class, she said that now I don’t have time for fun and that I have to do my homework. From now on, I myself had to read books, but I did not succeed. Then my mother told me that I was stupid — even my five-year-old brother, and he had already begun to read. And it is true.
By Christmas, almost the entire class could read. There are only two of us left — those who have not learned to read. Mom sulked at me and said that she was disappointed. I, because I could not read, considered myself worthless. As soon as it came to reading aloud, the color rushed into my face, I was covered with heat, and I began to babble something.
It’s terrible when they tell you all day long that everyone can read — little wisdom, all you need is a little bit of will. They seemed to think that I would immediately start reading. I was told that I did not have an iota of courage, that I did not study enough, that I really was an idiot. School has become a real punishment for me. I did not dare to exchange a word with anyone, and at recess, out of fear of ridicule, I would hide in a corner. In the evenings, too, it was hard: after all, my mother was nervous because of my homework. She slapped me a lot when she had never hit me before. But it was worse for me when I saw her crying. Then I could not stand it, threw the textbooks, and I wanted to disappear. I even thought that without me she would be happier. I hate school, I hate myself for smoking white light. Why am I so mediocre, doctor? (This complaint is an excerpt from an article by Gisele Georges «Children’s Stress and Its Causes»)
Dear readers, using the example of this story, you have already understood what school stress is. Or did you not understand? Seriously, I don’t understand anything yet. I saw two girls, one of school age, the other her mother, who know how to get angry, sulk and do not know how to cope with difficulties — with completely everyday, ordinary difficulties, calling it all stress …
Daughter can’t read — Mom could teach her. But mom is too lazy, mom is not accustomed to teach her daughter calmly and with support, and it’s easier to swear at her daughter. In response, the daughter knows that in such a situation you need to make unfortunate shoulders, portray a stupid one (this is not at all difficult) and not think stubbornly, but it’s better to burst into tears, then mom will fall behind, she won’t pester anymore and maybe even regret.
As can be understood from this story, there is no dad in this family who could teach them not to whine, to run briskly, to do what they say and not to pretend to be the most unhappy. Yes, no dad. There is nothing fatal in this either, many women of any age and without men know how to live cheerfully and beautifully: the trouble is that these two women, mother and daughter, have actually played the game “Unfortunate Victim” and, it seems, are planning to do it in the near future .
Now my daughter has school stress, both are going through it, then her daughter has a teenage crisis, it’s generally terrible, and so on.
Dear readers, do you share this position of helplessness?
If mother and daughter want to improve the situation and are ready to do something (this, by the way, is not obvious: it’s easier to complain than to start doing something really), of course, the situation can be improved.
Mom and daughter — straighten up, straighten their shoulders, smile and say something kind to each other. Of course, hug.
Mom says to her daughter: “Daughter, I won’t swear at you, I promise not to swear at you, and you promise me to obey me: I take care of you and teach you useful things in life. You and I will learn together how to study at school.
The daughter says to her mother: “Mom, I love you. Thank you for promising not to swear at me, and I will learn to obey you. Please, when I suddenly do not obey you, do not immediately swear, but first warn that I do not obey you and that you do not want to swear at me. I understand that I have not yet learned how to study at school, I need to catch up with my peers, but together with you we can handle it. I am smart and strong, and you are my wonderful mother. We will succeed with you!”
Some complain about school stress. Others are looking for opportunities, ways and means. Who are you, dear readers?
Who is cheerful, he laughs,
Who wants — he will achieve
Who seeks will always find!