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School phobia, what are the symptoms?
No matter how hard you try, there’s not a morning without a tearful spell when you go to school! What if this situation hid much more than a simple wave to the soul but a school phobia? …
To be afraid of the dark, of spiders, of snakes… that is not surprising for a child! But to fear the school to the point of getting in all its states not to go, then there, it becomes more suspicious. In France, nearly 3% of children are affected by a real school phobia, which can appear as early as kindergarten! This school panic can have a large number of explanations. From a social phobia to a fear of separation through external events such as recent bereavement for example, the reasons are multiple!
Sick from school
Every day, it’s the same comedy. Your toddler is putting up resistance and making more than enough excuses to stay at home: he doesn’t like the mistress, has quarreled with his boyfriends, doesn’t want to be alone at recess …
The symptoms of the phobia and its anxieties can also be manifested by physical signs that he cannot repress: stomach aches, headaches, the urge to vomit, tears, cries… No doubt, he shows real suffering.
Gradually, your child tends to move away from others and from the class, with the risk, inevitably, of falling behind. Difficulties that can also lead to depression, especially as he loses his self-esteem and develops a negative image of himself.
School phobia: what to do and how to react?
There is no such thing as a miracle recipe so your child can return to school voluntarily overnight. When faced with a case of school phobia, it is better to first try to understand what is going on and, if possible, not to give in to his injunctions. Accompany him, surround him, support him and why not develop a series of little tips to make him want to study… this is already a good start in trying to reverse the situation. Hold on, school phobia is often just one transient period at the end of which your child will manage to “cut the cord” and overcome his separation anxiety. It is up to you, too, to agree to question yourself if necessary, even if it is never very obvious …
A mother testifies
“My daughter suffered from school phobia during the first three years of kindergarten. She had become hypochondriac. I did my best to reassure and encourage her by taking an interest in what she was doing at school. We then applied his knowledge at home. I also tried to participate in all the school trips. I came to say hello to her at recess to reassure her that I wasn’t dropping her at school. Above all, I read his notebook and filled it with texts and photos concerning the activities and other events that had taken place on weekends and during the holidays. She was then proud that the teacher read it to the class. Growing up, I never stopped (and still today) congratulating her and reminding her of the importance of learning. Little by little, she took a liking to it. Today, she is in CE1 with a very good level.
One thing I have always refrained from doing is giving in to her desire to stay home despite the tears, whims and other recriminations on her part. “
School phobia: parents deadlocked? How to get out of it?
In a case of school phobia, it is not uncommon for families to find themselves helpless in the face of their child’s distress. They come to give up, especially if they have to face aggressive behavior. However, remedies based on convenience (accepting “for once” that the child remains at home) or amicable “arrangements” are not a solution. On the contrary, they risk leading, in the long term, to total school dropout. If the refusal to go to school persists, do not hesitate to get help.
What treatment to treat school anxiety: Is medical support a solution?
In a case of school phobia, is medical consultation a good idea? Talking about this disorder to a doctor or a pediatrician allows you to have a medical opinion on the issue and not to feel alone when faced with this problem. Drug treatment may possibly be considered, but management is primarily done on a case-by-case basis.
Psychotherapy can also help your child come out of their school phobia. Sometimes even a family treatment is recommended. Support can therefore bear fruit so that your child can overcome his difficulties and regain good self-esteem.
One thing is certain: you shouldn’t be afraid to discuss it with the teacher or the teacher either. Once informed, he will be better able, at his level, to help your child.
Did you know?
School phobia has hidden forms:
— Academic inhibition : the child does not like school, but he goes anyway;
— School refusal : the child does not want to learn anything and feels hostility towards the school which he represses.