Sexual violence, the horrors of war, abuse, political terror, a difficult childhood… Each of these events leaves a mark on the psyche of the survivor. A trauma with which he often has to be alone, because society does not know how to talk about it. And even more so – how to heal it. Judith Herman, a Harvard psychiatrist, offers her answer to this question in Trauma and Healing.
Trauma robs the victim of feelings of power and control, so the main task of recovery is to return them. The process itself is divided into three stages:
- creating security;
- remembrance and mourning;
- reconnection with normal life.
No therapeutic work can be successful and simply cannot begin until a safe environment has been created for the survivor. The duration of the stage depends on the trauma itself – those who lived a negative experience once can go through it in a couple of weeks, but in the case of chronic abuse, it can take months and years.
Security in your own body
Creating a safe environment starts with a focus on body control, because survivors don’t feel safe in it. They feel that their emotions and thoughts are beyond their control. In addition, they do not feel safe in relationships with other people.
How it is treated:
- medicines – to reduce reactivity and overexcitation;
- behavioral techniques – for example, relaxation and intense physical exercise help in managing stress;
- Cognitive and behavioral therapies – they are especially important in case of confusion;
- Developing a trusting relationship with the therapist;
- Mobilization of natural support systems – we are talking about relatives, friends, as well as self-help groups.
By gaining a sense of security in one’s own body, one returns to one’s basic needs, such as sleep, food, and exercise. And also learns to control self-destructive behavior.
Control over the environment
What is this about? About financial security, mobility and self-defense plan. First of all, about providing asylum. When a survivor acquires it, they can gradually return to the outside world. But it can take weeks to resume everyday activities like driving, shopping, socializing with friends or working.
Separately, it is worth noting the issue of communication. The survivor’s relationship with other people usually fluctuates between two extremes:
- The desire to constantly be close to people.
- Desire to completely self-isolate.
Of course, such a person should be encouraged to communicate, but even here he should feel that he makes a decision on his own. Otherwise, it may seem to him that they do not put him in anything, they turn to him condescendingly, humiliatingly. Or that the psychotherapist has entered into an alliance with his relatives and that they are now responsible for his recovery.
Relatives and friends who decide to participate in the security system of a loved one should take into account that for some time the normal course of their life will be disrupted. They may need to provide XNUMX/XNUMX support for the simplest tasks of daily life.
During such a crisis, hidden problems in family relationships often surface.
While crisis intervention is designed to focus on helping the survivor and her family cope with the trauma itself, sometimes this crisis forces the family to deal with issues that were previously denied or ignored.
Finding Security
There is no specific dramatic event that marks the end of the first stage of recovery. This is a gradual process, the pace of which can change, sometimes accelerating, sometimes calming down.
Little by little, trauma survivors begin to realize that they can rely on themselves and others. May they become much more cautious and distrustful than they were before the injury, may they still avoid intimacy, but no longer feel vulnerable or isolated.
They have some confidence in their ability to protect themselves; they know how to control the most disturbing symptoms; they know who they can count on for support.
They begin to believe not only that they can take good care of themselves, but also that they deserve it.
In their relationships with others, they have regained the capacity for appropriate trust and self-protection. In their relationship with the therapist, they have arrived at a reasonably secure alliance that preserves both autonomy and contact.
At this point, especially in the case of an acute single injury, the person may want to put the experience out of their mind for a while and get on with their lives. And maybe for a while he will succeed. But traumatic events eventually refuse to go into oblivion forever.
Later, the memory of the trauma will certainly come back, demanding attention. This means that a person is ready for the transition to the second stage of recovery – remembering and mourning.