Three communicative whales
Communication has an extremely high degree of importance in Russian culture. Moreover, this concept does not exist in Western European languages - communication has a slightly different connotation. This is probably due to another typical Russian national feature — catholicity.
Sobornost turns into the absence of the concept of privacy (privacy) and the possibility of any neighbor’s grandmother to intervene and tell you everything she thinks about your clothes, manners and upbringing of your children. From the same opera, the concepts of «public», «collective» that are absent in the West. “The opinion of the collective”, “not to separate from the collective”, “what will people say?” — conciliarity in its purest form.
On the other hand, they will tell you if your tag is sticking out, your drawstring is untied, your pants are splashed, or your grocery bag is torn. And also — flashing headlights on the road to warn about the traffic police and save you from a fine. Here — the rejection of «informers», «rats».
The third «whale» of Russian communicative behavior is the prescription of sincerity and sincerity. It, in my opinion, fits well into the first two — the more “collective” people are, the more they should communicate, and the higher the requirements for sincerity. «Soulfulness is the desire and ability to establish personal relationships at any level of social relations.»
Of the negative qualities, lawlessness and an understanding of responsibility primarily to external control are characteristic (that’s why, I think, there is no English concept of commitment in the Russian language). Alexander I: “There is such theft in Russia that I’m afraid to go to the dentist — I’ll sit in a chair and steal my jaw …” Dal: “A Russian person is not afraid of the cross, but is afraid of the pestle.”
Freedom, on the other hand, more often turns into will, which also does not have a direct translation — it is equal to the elements, anarchy, do whatever you want.
Mimicry
A smile in Russian communication is not a mandatory attribute of politeness. In the West, the more a person smiles, the more polite he is. In traditional Russian communication, the priority is the requirement of sincerity. A smile in Russians demonstrates a personal disposition towards another person, which, of course, does not apply to everyone. Therefore, if a person smiles not from the heart, it causes rejection. «Duty smile» has a negative connotation. Researchers call this the “everyday unsmiling phenomenon.”
“The smile of service personnel in the line of duty in Russia was always absent — clerks, salesmen, waiters, servants were polite, helpful, but did not smile.” “In Russian, there is a unique saying that is absent in other languages, “Laughter without a reason is a sign of a fool.” The logic of this proverb cannot be understood by Western-minded people.”
In the same way, «Russian facial expressions reflect the current state of a person.» There is no requirement to “keep face”, “preserve dignity”. The same applies to the topic of conversation — Russians easily talk about their problems, ask the interlocutor about him, and to the question «how are you?» it is not forbidden to answer «badly».
By the way, this very feature has secured the reputation of brooding for Russians — thinking too much about the negative. What is especially curious about this is that recent research by the University of Michigan showed that despite this feature (or maybe because of it), Russians are less prone to depression than Americans.
Gestures
“In general, Russian gestures have a slightly larger amplitude than Western European ones … Russian gestures noticeably go beyond the personal space of the gesticulator, often invading the personal space of the interlocutor.”
“The contact of Russian communicative culture is incomparably higher than in the West. The teacher can touch the students. In a conversation, Russians often touch the interlocutor’s hand to attract or return his attention, to the elbow — to tell something secret. Of the 15 gestures of sympathy, 14 involve touching the interlocutor’s hand. «Physical contact with complete strangers — anathema to Americans — does not bother Russians … This is not a violation of individual sovereignty.»
“In Russian communication, only five non-verbal signals of unfriendliness and more than 20 non-verbal signals of friendliness are used.”
“If the Finns make 1 gesture per hour, the Italians 80, the French 120, the Mexicans 180, then the Russians — 40. Thus, contrary to the popular idea of Russians as a strongly gesticulating nation, Russians gesticulate quite moderately, but their gestures are wider in scope and more emotional «.
Distance
“Russian communication is characterized by a short distance, which, from the point of view of European standards, is even considered as ultra-short.” “Russians, asking for directions, can come very close to a stranger, closer than 25 cm (the British believe that Russian women flirt with them in this case).”
“The category of privacy is weakly expressed — Russian communicative thinking widely allows intrusion into the communicative space of another person — both in the physical sense (distance, touch, physical contact) and in the thematic sense (deeply personal issues can be raised in communication). It can be argued that the concept of limited communicative sovereignty is inherent in the Russian communicative consciousness — you can make remarks to strangers, reconcile strangers, interfere in someone else’s conversation, ask questions to people who are talking, «hang your problems» on others, etc.
Topics of communication
“For a Russian person, a heart-to-heart talk is a priority. It is very difficult for a foreigner to explain what it is … Russian people love to pour out, even “turn out” their soul in front of an interlocutor, they are not shy about doing this, they are not shy about telling about their innermost; they can pour out their hearts to an outsider, a fellow traveler on a train.”
“The Russian linguocultural community is characterized by a negative attitude towards secular communication. The very expression “secular communication” usually carries a certain disapproving connotation in Russian word usage — it means “fake”, official, far-fetched, insincere”.
“There are few taboos in Russian communication, the range of topics discussed is very wide, especially in comparison with the communicative culture of the West.”
“A Russian person, in principle, needs to know more than is necessary for practical life — this is a very bright communicative feature of a Russian person …” Hence, “a steady tendency to ask the interlocutor intimate questions (in the Western sense of the word, i.e. deeply personal): about his salary, age, marital status, whether he has children, and if not, then why … where did he study, who is by profession, what kind of apartment does he have, are his parents alive, their health, place of residence, source of livelihood, etc. A Russian may ask if his interlocutor is a believer, what denomination he belongs to, who he voted for in the last election, or who he is going to vote for. All these and similar questions are considered taboo for Western communicative behavior, while for Russians they are a completely natural manifestation of a friendly interest in the details of the interlocutor’s life, this is a form of demonstrating interest and attention to the interlocutor. This, oddly enough, Russians are close to the Greeks.
“For Russian communicative culture, the problem-free everyday communication characteristic of the West is uncharacteristic. Russians in everyday life, in home conversations, discuss topics that are too serious from the point of view of the West, and such a discussion is possible even at a party, which is especially surprising for foreigners.
“As Ivan Karamazov said: “Russian boys, having just met, sitting in a corner in some tavern, immediately begin to talk about world issues, not otherwise: is there a God, is there immortality? And those who do not believe in God, well, they will talk about socialism or anarchy, about the reorganization of all mankind according to a new state.
Conflict
“Disputes traditionally occupy a large place in Russian communication. A Russian person loves to argue on a variety of issues, both private and general. Love for disputes on global, philosophical issues is a striking feature of Russian communicative behavior.
“A Russian person is often interested in a dispute not as a means of finding the truth, but as a mental exercise, as a form of emotional, sincere communication with each other. That is why, in Russian communicative culture, those who argue so often lose the thread of the dispute, easily deviate from the original topic.
At the same time, the desire for compromise or for allowing the interlocutor to save face is completely uncharacteristic. Uncompromisingness, conflict manifests itself very clearly, uncomfortable, if «did not argue, could not prove his case.» “As an English teacher formulated this quality: “A Russian always argues to win.” And vice versa, the characteristic «conflict-free», rather, has a disapproving connotation, like «spineless», «unprincipled».
And at the same time, conflicts are rarely taken personally. After a long emotional argument, Russians can tone down their tone and continue the conversation amicably. This surprises foreigners, «after this, the Chinese would not greet each other for a year.»
Emotional gestures are also possible, raising the voice, a sharp expression of denial “No way! In no case!» Although foreigners often see this as a quarrel, gu.e.st, (truth is, I myself have encountered many times), for Russians this often means only more emotional communication, and does not bear hostility or authoritarianism towards the interlocutor.
In general, this explains a lot to me in forum discussions. And also — it is clear that it is difficult to impose just a smile or a similar change in behavior, this is not a separate external characteristic, it conflicts with a huge cultural layer.
And it’s also clear why just the right accent is not enough to look like “your own”. The distance between the interlocutors, the scope and frequency of gestures, where these gestures are made — at the face / head or at chest level, the melody and tempo of speech — all this gives out a “stranger”.