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Even in childhood, many dream that they will definitely become successful and wealthy people. They visualize the end goal and expect everything to happen by itself. Any failures and deviations from the course completely unsettle them. Stand-up psychologist Anna Kalanternaya tells what fears prevent you from taking place in life and making your dream come true.
People make plans for life, usually it looks like this: a school, a higher educational institution, a promising position in a good company, a wedding, children. But it happens that fate decides otherwise: you can’t enter a prestigious university, get a desired job, earn your first million before 30. At the same time, few people can see new opportunities in failures. Most withdraw into themselves or dream of a better period, but do nothing. How to stay dreamy realist and move forward?
“Now I will reveal the secret of how the Universe works,” says psychologist Anna Kalanternaya. She does everything to make our true desires come true.
Recipe:
- Recognize true desires, not imposed by others.
- Work through fears and limiting beliefs.
- Perform an action with intent.
The first two points are the most difficult, because often people confuse their dreams with the stereotypes accepted in society, the desires of their parents. Plus, fears and limiting beliefs from all sides whisper: “it’s impossible” or “very difficult.” But it’s not like that. Depending on what each of us is convinced, then he has. Regarding the third point: it doesn’t matter what you do, the main thing is the direction and the answer to the question “why?”.
Stage of «doing» and reasons for inaction
Why is it difficult to move from thoughts to actions? For many, it doesn’t get to specific steps, while in their heads they continue to draw pictures or draw up a now popular wish map that promises unlimited happiness: “There is so much information everywhere that it’s enough to visualize, and everything will happen by itself. But this is a real scam! It is necessary to dream and visualize in order to see the path to the goal. But, if there are fears and limiting beliefs, you will sit where you sat. The subconscious will hold on in every possible way to justify and strengthen the negative moments.
So, there are many reasons for inaction. For example, the fear of failing. Then in advance it is a pity for the resources spent on the road, including time. You are afraid in advance to earn the title of loser.
“Those who admit that he is a loser are few,” says Anna. Yes, and as long as a person is alive, everything can be changed at any time. I would not talk about anyone like that, especially if there is a desire for the best.
If you came to where you are now, then you came there on your own feet.
Or the opposite: “What if everything goes according to my fantasies? Other worries will pile up, rake them up later. And why waste energy then? Moreover, the belief has settled in their heads that life is like a zebra: the stripe is white, the stripe is black.
“For example, a person really wants to live in his own house on the coast of Spain. Let’s pretend he succeeded. And then numerous relatives or friends come up who need to be put somewhere, and thoughts: “What about mom? I won’t leave her here, but I don’t want to live with her there. What will your friend say? She will be jealous for sure. Don’t tell her? But what about friendship? A very exaggerated example, but the fear of success sometimes builds more serious barriers than real difficulties.
It often happens that a person strives to fulfill someone else’s desire, guided by the beliefs: “it will be cool”, “it should be so”, “I will definitely impress everyone”.
“Let’s take this house as an example. “But what about travel? I kind of thought I would ride around the world and photograph insects in different countries. I will be away eight months of the year, do I really need this property? But I do want to. How to do it? The subconscious mind chooses to do nothing because it is safer to do so.”
Running in circles
People whine that they are not working out, but in fact they run around in circles of their thoughts, shifting responsibility to anyone, just so as not to answer themselves. For example: parents did not like, raised incorrectly, injured, did not support, or, conversely, created «greenhouse conditions». The state did not help, the global crisis happened.
“I have one advice: to realize that everything happens according to our desire, choice and with our permission,” says Anna. — If you came to where you are now, then you came there with your own feet, performing certain actions. Everything in the world has a causal relationship. The only thing you can do is make a decision about how to fix what you don’t like and start taking the first steps in the right direction.”
Such a frightening success
Unpreparedness for it hinders success. When a person does not know what to do with it. Suddenly fallen wealth, fame begin to annoy.
It is important to see the clues that the Universe will give, to recognize desires, to take chances.
“This does not happen to everyone, but the phenomenon is quite common,” says the author. — Especially among the generation that grew up in the USSR. They are accustomed to struggle, to overcome difficulties, because only the «bourgeois» and «deceivers» can easily and naturally. Success cannot be achieved through hard work.
There is a second side, as in a joke:
— What is your dream?
— Lose weight.
So why aren’t you losing weight?
— And how to live without a dream?
Exaggerated, but it’s true. A huge number of people think: I’ll live somehow later, but for now I’ll trudge through the thorns, because someone said that the dream should be unattainable.
How to break the vicious circle?
Take the following measures:
- Realize that the reason is only in yourself.
- Set a direction in which you want to move.
- Write down the goal and dream, but not the actions. All the same, the plan is not implemented in most areas.
- Wake up with the thought of a dream and go to bed with the thought of it. Devote your day to thinking about her. Then the Universe will begin to help and give hints.
- Every day ask yourself: “What did I do to fulfill my desire?” If nothing, then ask an additional question: “Why?”
How to follow the plan? Find a reason why you want to change or beautify your life. Remember that time does not come by itself. It only goes away, only you can control it. It is important to see the clues that the Universe will give, to recognize desires, to take chances and take risks. In case of failure, thank for the lessons, take into account the mistakes and move on.