Since the release of the cult book by Dr. Spock, there has been an ongoing debate among parents and children about whether it is possible to leave a child to cry, or whether this way of behavior of mothers and fathers will certainly lead to psychological trauma. Research on this topic makes us remember that the rule of the golden mean works well in everything.
Wait until the child calms down, or run to his call, as they say, at the first squeak? On parenting forums, this issue usually causes heated debate. We know that babies can demand adult attention almost around the clock, but is it bad for them not to get that attention as soon as they need it?
Psychologists from the University of Warwick conducted a study to understand how the use of certain methods affects the behavior of children when they become toddlers, that is, they reach the age of one to three years. The study involved 178 children and their parents.
Adults were asked how often their baby cries. Parents also told how exactly they acted when they heard crying at different periods of the child’s development, from the time he was born until he reached the age of one and a half years. The researchers assessed both the behavior of the participating children and the degree of attachment that formed between them and their parents.
What conclusions did scientists come to? Firstly, the results of the study showed that newborns today are rarely left to cry, but as the child grows older, adults begin to slowly give him time to calm down on his own, gradually increasing this time.
Secondly, there were no differences in behavioral development between those one and a half year old children who were not allowed to cry alone, and those who were given the opportunity and time by their parents to calm down on their own. In addition, the fact that adults left the babies to cry did not affect the affection between them.
For the most part, parents intuitively adapt to the child and his needs.
Psychologists have studied how reliable the attachment that children experience in relation to adults, and found that the “leave to cry” method did not affect the attachment between six-month-old children and mothers who did this from time to time. In addition, experts found that children whose parents did not always run to the cry immediately did not cry for as long at the age of one and a half years as children whose crying adults reacted immediately.
Psychologists explain: for the most part, parents intuitively adapt to the child and his needs. Moms and dads basically wait a bit before rushing to the baby, and this gives kids the opportunity to develop self-regulation skills over time. Most babies develop well whether their parents responded to their crying immediately or waited for a while.
Similar studies were conducted in the UK 20 and 50 years ago, so the work of psychologists at the University of Warwick is also interesting in that it clearly demonstrates the features of modern child rearing. Indeed, today, when we know more about the theory of attachment and, in general, are much more concerned about a healthy psychological climate in the family, we resort to “hard” educational methods much less often than older generations.
The authors of the study note that in no case do they urge parents to leave their children to cry alone – or, conversely, respond to the call immediately.