Rules of Persuasion

Start with what brings you together

​​​​​​​When opening a topic, start not with the moments that separate you, but with what the interlocutor agrees with you. Never argue. Use every opportunity not to fall into an argument and bickering: it is easy to get stuck in this and almost never emerge with a victory. If you win an argument, you will most likely lose the whole conversation: people do not like to lose and usually do not forgive such humiliation.

Use the Socratic Method

To get a positive decision on an issue that is important to you, put it in third place, prefixing it with two short, simple questions for the interlocutor, to which he will easily answer you “yes”. Preliminary questions should be short so as not to tire the interlocutor, not to take up a lot of his time. See →

Homer’s Rule

The order in which arguments are presented affects their persuasiveness. It is best to arrange the arguments so that at the beginning there are a couple of strong and better than rational arguments, then you can refer to one or two medium (but not weak!) circumstances, and at the end give one, the strongest argument, and better than an emotional one. It follows from this rule that it is better not to use weak arguments: having identified them in the process of preparation, do not use them for persuasion: your interlocutor will pay attention to them, and they will harm you, not benefit you. It is not the number of arguments that decides the outcome of the case, but their reliability.

Attention: the same argument for different people can be both strong and weak. Therefore, the strength (weakness) of the arguments must be determined from the point of view of the interlocutor.

Visibility!

People do not understand dry statements well and easily perceive pictures. Add illustrations to the theses, draw images with words, add real things to speech, by their appearance they will prove the correctness of your words.

Pay more attention to feelings and emotions

Yes, I would like people to be more reasonable, but in fact it is more effective to appeal to feelings and emotions, and not to reason and logic. If you manage to touch on emotions and feelings, touch on what is important and dear to a person, he will become yours without any subsequent argumentation.

If your interlocutor can and wants to think about what we say to him, then for persuasiveness we must give arguments. If a person listens to us «with half an ear», inattentively, it is not the arguments that turn out to be more convincing, but something familiar and understandable, which seems reasonable.

The one you like seems more convincing

Attractiveness is important. If you like a person, you yourself begin to look for justifications for him, remember the arguments for it, therefore — always look for an opportunity to establish contact, make a good impression, strengthen existing relationships. The first pleasant impression is created by many circumstances: appearance, respectful attitude, competent speech, pleasant manners, then a lot depends on what you can offer a person, how interesting you are for him. In any case, do not allow conflictogens, never belittle the status of the interlocutor.

The more status a person has, the stronger his arguments seem.

​​

The persuasiveness of arguments largely depends on the image and status of the persuasive. It’s one thing when the persuading person is an authoritative, respected person, another thing is when it’s insignificant, not taken seriously. A high official or social position, outstanding success in any field of activity, education, recognition of merit by others, high personal qualities raise the status of a person, and with it the weight of his arguments. The support of a respected person also increases credibility. In fact, this rule is used by those who ask a respected person to «put in a good word for themselves.» Or they refer to the opinion of a respected person, quoting him in support of their arguments. To create a sense of greater authority, the creators of commercials about medicines, bioadditives and hygiene products involve doctors, cosmetologists; for advertising sports goods — famous athletes, etc.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Appeal to the interests and needs of people

People react faster not to logical arguments, but to what turns out to be beneficial, convenient for them, what responds to their needs and satisfies their needs. If you are selling something, then try to understand what your client needs and tell about your product that will meet his interests.

When talking with a client, it is necessary to replace the words trade, purchase, conclusion of a transaction, contract, price, cost with phrases that evoke positive images: Trade, sell — provide services, help in choosing, look for acceptable options, mutually beneficial cooperation. Buying, buying — acquiring … suits your interests, when you become the owner … you will receive, in favor of what did you choose? Agreement — when we finalize our agreement, if we come to an agreement, our partnership can be formalized as follows. Price and value — the value of this kit is consistent, the purchase of this product will cost you …

Show the interlocutor that you understand his situation and his feelings

Show empathy. Empathy is the ability to comprehend the emotional state of another person through empathy. Empathy helps to better understand the interlocutor, to imagine the course of his thoughts, as they say, «get into his shoes.» Without showing empathy, it is impossible to fulfill the first rule (of Homer). Indeed, we must evaluate the strength of arguments from the point of view of the consumer, i.e. we must put ourselves in his place. The same applies to the Socratic method — you need to anticipate the consumer’s reaction to your words, i.e. again show empathy for him.

Add soul and body to your words

Facial expressions, gestures and postures of the persuasive should reinforce the words, be friendly towards the audience. Facial expressions are the main indicator of feelings. The most easily recognized positive emotions are happiness, love, and surprise. It is difficult to perceive, as a rule, negative emotions — sadness, anger and disgust.