Rules of etiquette: new, outdated and always relevant

“Hello, comrade!”

The welcoming handshake of a man and a woman was not born in Soviet times, but much earlier, although many associate it with this period. And this rule still applies today! Today, a woman gives her hand when greeting and getting to know exactly like a man – the palm is perpendicular to the floor.

True, she is free to choose whether to shake the interlocutor’s hand or greet him with her voice. As for those who like to give a hand for a kiss, such a gesture was relevant 100 years ago and in today’s realities it is appropriate only at a Viennese ball or at a royal reception.

Therefore, in ordinary life, a girl holding out her hand for a kiss instead of a handshake looks like a flirtatious aristocrat.

“Thank you, everything was just wonderful!”

At the beginning of the last century, it was considered good manners to send a bouquet of flowers to the hostess with a postcard and words of gratitude for the past evening the next day after visiting. Such a grand gesture has become rather an exception to the rule today, but it is still considered a symbol of attention and respect for the hosts of the celebration, as well as a sign of the sender’s gallantry.

Yes, no one is waiting for cards and flowers today, but gratitude expressed by phone or via messenger will also be pleasant.

Don’t call me, don’t call

Calling etiquette rules change periodically as new alternative sources of communication constantly emerge. At the moment, the etiquette is as follows: before calling a stranger, first write him an SMS message, especially if we are talking about evening time, after 18 hours.

With regard to voice messages, everything is much clearer: they are only relevant in correspondence with loved ones. This way of communication is unacceptable in business – it is a sign of disrespect. If you still need to send a voice message, be sure to ask permission to use this format first.

Only about the weather?

The rules of small talk forbid discussing the topic of health in secular society. But the situation with the pandemic has made its own adjustments. It is appropriate to talk about coronavirus at social events and at the table, this demonstrates our familiarity with current issues.

The main thing to remember is that one should not move from the category of relevant news to complaints and condemnation of certain decisions.

Subordination for all time

At the end of the XNUMXth century, in business and the business sphere, women began to occupy equal positions with men. This entailed a large number of new rules.

In business etiquette, status is the deciding factor. Therefore, if a man is higher in status than a woman, then it will be she who will let him into the elevator first, open the doors in front of him and help take off his outer clothing.

“Do you respect me?”

Increasingly, in the modern world, we are faced with a rapid transition to “you”. But I can assure you: the rules of etiquette in relation to this situation are unchanged.

A person who is older in age or in status can initiate the transition to “you”, otherwise it demonstrates our ignorance of the rules, social incompetence and disrespect both for the interlocutor and for ourselves.

If you are addressed as “you” without your consent, you should not defiantly point out the mistake, it is best, while maintaining a distance, to continue to address the interlocutor as “you”. A smart person will understand and correct everything.

Not a word about age

For many women today, the topic of age has ceased to be painful. But the rules of secular etiquette still say that it is indecent for a woman to ask about the numbers in her passport.

Ladies who are proud of their years and do not suffer from ageism themselves often mention their age in a conversation. As for phrases like: “Excuse me, I know that this is indecent, but how old are you? You look amazing, ”they, although they resemble compliments, still dangerously maneuver between flattery and ignorance. It’s better not to risk it.

Address by name

Addressing by name and patronymic is much better than using the notorious “girl” or, God forbid, “woman”. But, if we don’t know the name, the only correct appeal is “sorry, please.”

The rule of modern etiquette says: call a person the way he introduced himself. If Vasily Petrovich – then Vasily Petrovich, and nothing else. A name is the sweetest sound for a person.

And if we change it of our own free will, this is unlikely to help establish a successful acquaintance.

To have unsurpassed manners and a subtle sense of tact, one must not only know the code of rules, but also feel the appropriateness of certain actions, as well as intuitively read the context of the situation.

With such skills, you will never lose face. At the same time, do not forget the main rule: do not judge anyone and take care of others. It will be relevant at any time and under any circumstances, and it is quite enough to make a good impression on the interlocutors.