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Teenagers are a difficult age, they object to the imposition of something from the outside and are ready to fight for their freedom. On the other hand, this is a time when parents are obliged to prepare them for adulthood, where responsibility and self-control are necessary.
Teach your teen to be smart
Do you have a good family? Then your task is for your children to know very clearly that communication is categorically unacceptable, where is the plinth, below which you cannot fall in your family. Even when angry, you should never use foul language. When talking to your parents, you can’t show disrespect: sit pointedly lounging, not answering questions and showing that these questions bother you. Do not agree — clearly and collectedly, with respect for the parents, say what you agree with, what you do not agree with — and what you propose. If there is a rule (we go to bed at 22.00), then it cannot be changed without the permission of the elders. “To inform” (that is, to put before the fact) is normal only in a force majeure situation and when it is impossible to discuss the urgent situation with the elders. If the elders were available, at least by phone, then making independent decisions in violation of agreements is a violation of family law. See →
Life skills training and upbringing
Adolescents can determine for themselves what they think is right to teach themselves for the life ahead, but the daily study of good manners, manners and useful social skills should be. The methods School of good manners and the Educational table can help with this.
Responsibility for own purposes
Teenagers are required to have their own goals and achieve them (move towards their achievement) according to the plan. Goals and plans can be developed completely independently, they can (and in principle it is more reasonable) together with their parents. But if they accepted them, now this should not remain dreams and good intentions, now these are obligations (to themselves) that they are obliged to fulfill.
Like adults. And parents can and should ask them this: whether or not they fulfill their own (not imposed by someone else, but their own!) goals and obligations.
Material for discussion
An excerpt from the article: “Here are the things my daughters Sophia and Louise were never allowed to do: go to sleepovers, make friends, participate in school plays, complain about not being allowed to participate in school plays, watch TV or play play computer games, choose their own extracurricular activities, get grades below “five”, not be “student number 1″ in any subject other than physical education and drama…”, see →
Feedback on this from the Sinton Forum: I agree with this list one hundred percent: it’s not good for schoolchildren to hang around somewhere at night, and early cupids, in general, are useless. School amateur performance is usually at a very low level, and there is no point in wasting time on it, TV and computer games are the path to degradation. People go to school to study, not to hang out and have fun, and studying poorly at school has no excuse (if the child is healthy and well-groomed). There are, of course, Einstein tribals, but more often they are just bums. Learning for five is normal. This does not mean that you need to throw a tantrum because of the four, but the result should be on the level. Electives are best coordinated by parents. I will definitely give my son to chess, let him train his brains. And in the sports section, something like athletics, while small. I would like to play music, piano or guitar, but let’s look at the abilities. I can teach music notation and selection myself.
A possible variant of a conversation with a teenager so that he does his homework, and does not have fun at the computer: “Seryozha wants to relax at the computer.”