Contents
You met and liked each other. It’s time to go on a date. But be careful and try not to make a mistake, because the first impression cannot be made twice, recalls psychotherapist Anna Devyatka and tells how not to scare off the interlocutor.
From the first date we expect a lot, we secretly hope that sympathy will develop into something more. But often we ourselves spoil the impression of ourselves, we talk too much or too little, we flood the interlocutor with information, or we are generally silent. Therefore, when going to a meeting, do not forget what you can not do and say in any case.
Don’t ask too many questions
It is natural that you want to know more about the interlocutor, but this does not mean that you need to bombard him with questions non-stop. You are not an investigator, and a partner is not under interrogation. Leave the children’s questionnaires and let the person you went on a date ask you something too.
Do not be silent
Even if you are embarrassed, confused, or afraid to say the wrong thing, don’t be silent. Otherwise, it may seem to the interlocutor that you are not interested in his life, hobbies, there is nothing to talk about. Of course, close people are sometimes pleased to be silent together. But at the first meeting, it is better to start a dialogue, rather than listen to silence and wait for the partner to speak first.
Don’t break boundaries
Not everyone is ready to let you get too close right away. Respect the personal boundaries of the interlocutor, learn to keep your distance. Indeed, otherwise, your behavior can be regarded as rudeness and arrogance. If you have known each other for a week, do not swear eternal love, do not promise to get a star from the sky, because such assurances raise doubts about your honesty.
Don’t brag
You certainly have many talents and wonderful qualities. But do not talk about your awards and achievements all the time. You do not want the interlocutor to decide that you are more interested in your own person?
Of course, self-presentation is good, but in moderation, otherwise you will not leave room for a partner. In addition, he may think that he simply does not reach the ideal and is not worthy to be around such an impeccable person like you. Or he will doubt that you are telling the truth, and this will also reduce the chances of continuing the acquaintance to zero.
Do not be trifles
Don’t skimp on a date. Greed does not paint anyone. If you try to choose the cheapest dishes on the menu, dissuade your partner from a too expensive cocktail, express dissatisfaction with his desire to call a taxi (it’s cheaper by metro), it’s unlikely that the person you like will want to meet again.
Do not give valuable advice and do not teach
Don’t give advice unless you’re asked to. Do not educate, because the partner is not a child, but an adult who came on a date, and not to a school meeting. This way of talking humiliates the interlocutor, puts him a step lower, or exposes you in an absurd light. Especially if he realizes that you are not as well versed in the issue as you want to show.