Romance at work — a risky adventure?

Who among us has not at least once felt attracted to his boss, work colleague, new intern or handsome intern? Do love and work go so well together?

Oleg and Yana met at a consulting company where they worked together. At first, they tried to hide their relationship. However, as always happens, they failed to keep their romance a secret for a long time. Since the day their relationship was “figured out” by colleagues, the situation has become noticeably more complicated. Within the team there were omissions, difficulties with mutual understanding began. The case ended with the fact that both lovers had to quit.

“Now we are together all the time,” says Oleg. But only in my spare time. We work in different places, and this is for the best. Still, love at work is a very subtle game in which it is important not to expose the other to a blow.

And yet, despite all the pitfalls, work remains one of the most common places to meet.

Desire cannot be denied

«Who with whom?» is an eternal topic of conversation in office kitchens, smoking rooms and dining rooms, which reflects a much more complex problem than it might seem.

Perhaps only CEOs and HR people refrain from discussing this issue, argues Loic Roche, author of Cupid at Work: is negative.»

Meeting point

Obviously, work is the perfect place to meet people.

“At work, in contrast to the relaxed and undemanding home environment, we need to take care of our appearance, dress decently, be restrained, polite and correct,” Loic Roche rightly notes. — We spend most of our time at work, interacting with people with whom we are united by work goals. All this, of course, makes it easier to start a romantic relationship.

“Our relationship developed gradually, over the course of six months,” says Maria, 35. We spent a lot of time together, dined together and got to know each other well. It turned out that we have many common interests and tastes in many respects coincide.

And although there is an opinion that love and work do not go well with each other, on the contrary, our personal and professional lives did not contradict each other — late business meetings, business lunches and dinners, receptions, seminars … Sometimes it is very difficult to draw a line between these two worlds.»

fruits of love

But at first, Maria did not even think that it was possible to fall in love with one of her colleagues. “But when it happened, I realized: how great it is when you smile on the way to work at the thought that you will meet Him now. For me, these moments have become an additional motivation to work.”

Loïc Roche explains: “Having a close, especially sexual relationship with one of our colleagues is a way to breathe life into a space that is often hostile and even destructive for us. Such an experience allows a person to feel alive again, loved and appreciated.”

Then is a love relationship at work so dangerous? Perhaps they, on the contrary, increase professional efficiency? The French psychologist carefully studied this issue and came to the conclusion that the most innovative companies were those where the number of romance novels per total number of employees turned out to be the largest.

“The nature of creative and sexual love impulses is one and the same,” sums up Loic Roche. Mandelstam was right: «Both the sea and Homer — everything is driven by love.»

Gossip, jealousy, suspicion

Yet Loic Roche believes that love stories are “not a luxury we can afford at work. Careless actions can damage both the cause and your own reputation.

Of course, no one can forbid building relationships with work colleagues. However, you can be sure for sure that love affairs will bring certain difficulties into everyday life. “We came to work in the same car, kept a certain distance in the office, trying not to give ourselves away. But people are not stupid, ”recalls Maria.

Inevitably, you will have to deal with gossip and, possibly, jealousy. The situation is even more complicated when two people work on the same team.

How to build a working relationship with a love affair, how to ensure labor discipline, if one of the two is the boss and the other is a subordinate? What if she gets a raise and he doesn’t?

Dina worked for several years in an advertising agency, like her future husband. “When two people work for the same company, there is always a risk of bias in the relationship.

Any decision can be misinterpreted, in addition, the environment will try to distance themselves from lovers. For example, when I became the wife of the head of the company, I was faced with the fact that people stopped behaving naturally with me. After all, the boss’s wife is the one who is never told what they think.

When love ends

As we can see, office romance is not without risks. Karina was convinced of this from her own experience: “I had a short affair with my boss. For a month we met secretly from everyone, then he got tired of me, and he did everything possible so that I left the company of my own free will. So, in an instant, I lost my favorite job.

In most cases, love affairs that began at work are fleeting, most often they are fleeting intrigues, love adventures without any prospects. It is worth thinking carefully before entering into a relationship. In the worst case scenario, you will have to see your ex every day and suffer either from guilt or from jealousy for his new passion.

Labor code for lovers

Love is an incomprehensible mystery, but one thing is certain about it — it always comes without warning. What to do if she “accidentally swoops down” right at the workplace? Maria adheres to the rule: hints of intimacy, no compliments and signs of attention should not be allowed. “It is necessary to protect the secret of love, not to tell colleagues at work about the joys and ups and downs of your relationship.”

Dina believes that it is necessary to establish a clear boundary between work and home: “His position was much higher than mine, and the scope of duties was much larger. And I didn’t want the work meetings to continue at home over dinner.”

Work can help bond, but it’s unlikely to guarantee a long-term relationship, she says. However, many representatives of creative professions will not agree with her: for some, there is no better leisure than spending an evening together with a glass of red wine and … thinking about a new project.