Road: space of aggression or freedom?

Even 25 years ago, a woman behind the wheel looked unusual. Today the situation has changed: the number of motorists is constantly growing. And if until recently they pleased both the traffic police inspectors and their neighbors along the road with their discipline, politeness and careful observance of the rules, now, it seems, there has been a reverse trend.

In the West, masculine, exaggeratedly violent, brutal driving behavior is becoming a characteristic of more and more women. In Russia, the situation is not so clear yet, although there are some signs that we are moving in the same direction. “Today, there are more and more men who, in a gentlemanly way, let others pass on the road, and women who brazenly push others aside in the stream and do not give anyone access,” Vadim, a 38-year-old traffic police inspector, shares his observations. What are the causes of metamorphosis?

Independent Rights

“I started a different life when a second car appeared in the family, my car,” admits 35-year-old designer Rita, a mother of two children. “To go on business, to the market or to the children’s clinic – you don’t need to warn or ask anyone about this, now I feel much freer.”

And 43-year-old Alla, HR director of a large pharmaceutical company, prefers large SUVs. The current car – a silver Lexus – is already her fourth, and she began to drive her father’s “penny” in 1989. Alla practices a sharp, rather aggressive driving style, often presses on the signal, constantly overgases, cuts off those who interfere with her, and in general often balances on the verge of what is permitted.

“When I first learned to drive, there were few women behind the wheel and the men treated us with great prejudice. A little something wrong – immediately insults, ridicule: they say, where are you, girl, behind the wheel, it would be better if you were sitting at home, ironing your husband’s shirts. It was very unpleasant and insulting: I had complexes for a long time, I was afraid of the slightest violation, I always missed everyone. And then suddenly she asked herself: what, in fact, for the sake of? I’ve been driving for 17 years, I drive better than many men, I have a lot of work to do, children who need to be raised – so why on earth should I adapt to someone? Now I drive the way I want to, and I don’t care if anyone likes it or not.”

In the 80s, when a woman in Russia got behind the wheel, she felt that she had no right to make a mistake: she was surrounded by a hostile, in fact, chauvinistic male environment. Today, everything is different: cases of discrimination against a driver based on gender are becoming rarer – women have long won the right to drive and intend to use this right to the maximum. And the aggression that arises in this case is a kind of compensation for previous inconveniences.

“A woman has already encroached on many specifically male territories, and this is another one of them,” explains psychotherapist Natalya Izbutskaya. – On the road, she seems to be defending her ability to be a full member of society. Figuratively speaking, every female driver seems to prove to herself and others: I am able to do something no worse, but better than men.

Throw out emotions

Despite the fact that many stereotypes regarding the norms of male and female behavior have remained in the past, public rejection of public manifestations of female aggressiveness is still unchanged. Opportunities to get rid of stress, give vent to emotions in a woman is incomparably less than in a man. In those situations where it is considered completely normal for a man to flare up and raise his voice, the unspoken rules of social behavior require a woman to exercise restraint.

“Before, perhaps the only more or less acceptable way to “let off steam” for the fairer sex was outbursts of irritation against their family members,” comments Natalya Izbutskaya. “Now they have the opportunity to use a car for these purposes.”

26-year-old Olesya is experiencing a rapid career rise: having joined a PR agency as a secretary, she managed to rise to the position of a project manager in a year. However, not everything in her life is cloudless: rapid professional growth demanded great stress from her, she broke up with her boyfriend, and not all colleagues are delighted with her promotion. Olesya lives in an atmosphere of constant stress, which spills out while driving.

“The car is about the only place where I feel really comfortable,” she says. – I am so little in my apartment that the car for me is like my house on wheels. And at home I got used to behaving naturally: my house is my fortress!”

“Indeed, for many women, a car is a kind of private protected space, a kind of small cozy tank,” says Natalya Izbutskaya. – The feeling of security and, so to speak, impunity that a car gives a woman often pushes her to aggression: only here, in her fortress on wheels, does she feel entitled to express dissatisfaction with life, throw out her accumulated emotions, prove, in the end, that she, too, is a person to be reckoned with.

By the way, this is why women often prefer large SUVs – it is especially easy to imagine in them that no external problems can affect you.

Grow up behind the wheel

Twenty-year-old Xenia received her first car, a small and dynamic Suzuki, from her parents: “For me, this is a completely new feeling. All the time I felt almost like a child, my mother’s favorite, and then it suddenly turned out that I’m driving like everyone else – I can be independent, self-confident, sometimes even harsh.

Buying a car and learning how to drive often makes a person feel more confident. “Behind the wheel, a woman grows up,” says Inna Shifanova, a psychologist and author of the “Man + Woman” family trainings. – Our system of cultural stereotypes imposes on her the role of a weak, little girl looking for a strong male shoulder. And driving a car, she feels like an adult and responsible – she is obliged to make decisions herself and put them into practice.

The situation on the roads is such that it requires drivers to be active, persistent and partly aggressive. “Women are forced to display these traditional masculine qualities,” says psychologist Sergei Molchanov. “Driving a car doesn’t shape them, but it can greatly increase them.”

“Forced to apply traditional male models of behavior, a woman behind the wheel sometimes becomes, so to speak, more a man than the men themselves,” Natalya Izbutskaya continues his thought. “Self-confidence can turn into hostility towards others, and determination can turn into rudeness.”

Get rid of fear

36-year-old journalist Veronica has been driving for twelve years and considers herself a calm and careful driver. “The only situation in which I show nervousness and rigidity on the road is when I drive my daughter to school and we are late. If we do not have time to leave before the start of the morning traffic jam, I start to twitch, worry, scream, swear, I can cut someone off. I am very afraid that my daughter will not be in time for the beginning of the lessons and the teacher will scold her.”

“Fear, whether a person is aware of it or not, is one of the most common causes of aggression in general and aggression on the road in particular,” comments Natalya Izbutskaya, “and on the road there are more than enough moments that give rise to fear. Women drivers are much more afraid than men to not cope with the situation, to get into an accident, to be attacked. And, trying to get rid of fear, they begin to behave not quite adequately.

Here is how traffic police inspector Vadim describes the behavior of a woman who violated the rules: “When I stop a car driven by a woman, two options are possible. She either gets scared, cries, tries to call her husband, or, on the contrary, starts being rude, refuses to take a blood alcohol test and generally accuses me of violating her rights.”

Both behaviors are very typical for people who are frightened, feel insecure and unable to quickly orient themselves in an unusual situation for them.

Fears that are not directly related to driving also create fertile ground for aggressive driving behavior. If a woman is oppressed by some unspoken fear, if she feels the presence of any real or imagined threat in her life, her behavior can become unpredictable and abrupt.

Come to harmony

Obviously, an inadequate, aggressive driver poses a significant danger to himself and others. However, we should not forget that our driving manners are nothing more than a private, situational manifestation of more general behavioral stereotypes and a direct reflection of the existing mental discomfort.

“Sitting in the driver’s seat, a person always finds himself in a situation conducive to the most complete and vivid identification of all his complexes, fears, resentments and repressed emotions, which often have nothing to do with driving,” explains Natalya Izbutskaya. – And this circumstance does not depend on the gender of the driver. However, women, as a rule, tend to behave more impulsively and emotionally than men, and therefore, in order to feel truly confident and calm behind the wheel, it is vital for them to free themselves from the burden of internal problems and come to harmony with themselves.