Risk zones in the life of adolescents: what to look for?

Before looking at the life of adolescents from the outside, from the position of an adult, it is necessary to understand what is happening at this time with adolescents themselves: why are they so drawn to risk?

From the point of view of physiology, this can be explained by certain processes in the brain – some of its departments at this age are still developing, while others are already functioning at full capacity.

From a psychological point of view, adolescents are trying to determine their place in the world of adults: it becomes important for them to prove to themselves and others that they really are no longer children, that they can make decisions and be responsible for their actions. At this time, they learn more about themselves and their peers, test their abilities, question the attitudes instilled by their parents, form their own attitudes towards various aspects of adult life – and for the sake of all this they often take risks.

Obviously, most often a teenager takes risks by himself, by his own choice: for the sake of positive emotions and stress relief, for adrenaline, in the hope of a new experience, a new relationship, at random, or for other reasons. At the same time, adolescents most often associate the risk with unhealthy behavior and fear of losing control.

Many schoolchildren and students have gender-specific risk perception: insensitivity of some boys to risk and fear of girls to be a victim of robbery, rape or psychological impact.

All experts note that the risk in adolescents is complex. According to Christina Berg-Kelly, an expert at the EuTEACH European Center for Adolescent Health Training, students who are not very diligent in their studies rarely eat breakfast, do not use a seat belt while driving, smoke more, drink alcohol more often, start having sex earlier, less likely to feel healthy, more prone to suicidal thoughts.

To reduce risks, you need to act in all directions at once: talk, explain, change the environment, consult with specialists, limit, encourage, motivate, direct. Adults will also have to change themselves: to learn more, to strive to be more competent and authoritative parents in the eyes of a teenager. And most importantly – learn to respect and understand a teenager, support him, maintain contact and trust.

Parents should not be afraid to start talking about smoking, alcohol and other drugs before the teenager gets to know them. In this way, we increase the likelihood that information about the impact of bad habits on the body will help the child make an informed choice and stay healthy.

If the child has already begun to experiment with cigarettes, alcohol or drugs, it is possible to honestly discuss with the teenager all the “pros” and “cons” of such behavior. By carefully listening to his pros, we can help him find as many cons as possible, and at the same time turn his attention to more exciting, enjoyable and meaningful activities.

Smoking: looking for reasons and warning

For many parents, a child’s smoking is the first clear sign of his “growing up”. Moreover, the more vulnerable and psychologically disadvantaged a teenager, the greater the risk that he will start smoking early. Many teenagers cite the desire to seem like an adult, relieve stress and cope with life’s problems as the main reasons for starting smoking.

Some teens already regret starting smoking at 16 but feel unable to stop. It is well known that the later a teenager tries to smoke and the less smoking experience, the higher the chance that he will be able to give up the bad habit. Therefore, one of the tasks of adults is to postpone the start of smoking. But even better is not to allow it at all.

Most teenagers find it hard to imagine being 25, let alone 55. So warning about the long-term health risks of smoking is unlikely to influence their desire to smoke. You should not tell your child that because of smoking he will not grow up, will not become strong, beautiful and successful.

In the cinema and around him, he sees many smart, charming, strong, accomplished people with a cigarette. But the boy needs to be told about the risk of reduced potency due to smoking, and the girl about the high risk of complications during pregnancy and possible health problems in the unborn child. And it can also be explained that it is unpleasant to kiss with smokers, that hair grows dull from tobacco, the complexion deteriorates, teeth darken.

It is also useful to dispel the misconception that smoking helps to maintain a slim figure. In addition, the child can be told that smoking is no longer in vogue, that in public places and at work it is severely restricted or completely prohibited. By calculating together with their son or daughter how much a smoker spends on cigarettes, parents can show that with this money it is quite possible to buy something that the child dreams of.

If a child smokes, the best way out is to calmly figure out why he did it. Do not shout at him or even threaten that now he will lose the love of his parents. If it’s because of the high workload at school, worries and stress, we can explain to him that the habit of smoking is a source of new stress: if there are no cigarettes at hand, the smoker cannot relax. To calm down, relieve stress, improve mood, there are other ways: do a pleasant thing, eat a piece of chocolate, ride a bike, just get enough sleep.

If a teenager starts smoking for company, you need to tell him that quitting smoking is a manifestation of individuality, a desire to be himself. If a cigarette is a way to show your maturity, offer to demonstrate it in other ways, such as taking on more responsibility, participating more in decision making, or learning to defend your point of view.

Try to explain to your teenager that you care about his health and are ready to help him cope with this habit. It may be helpful to talk to a psychologist, school doctor, or family doctor. If you smoke yourself and can’t quit, be honest about it.

Alcohol: the price of curiosity

Most teenagers most often begin their acquaintance with alcohol with beer and low-alcohol cocktails. Beer is especially dangerous for young people, because it is easy to get used to it, drinking it becomes part of the lifestyle. The frequent use of beer or wine in large quantities is tantamount to drinking strong drinks. A small bottle of beer (0,33 l) is equivalent in alcohol content to 125 ml of wine and 40 ml of vodka.

Young people who start drinking before the age of 21 are 4 times more likely to become chronic alcoholics than those who do so later.

As reasons for drinking alcoholic beverages, adolescents often cite the desire to enhance a good mood or correct a bad one, to distract from problems, to facilitate communication with the opposite sex, to feel like an adult, to keep up with their peers.

Other motives are curiosity, “just because”, “having nothing to do” and home holidays and celebrations. Often, initiation to alcohol is a way to show parents that they are no longer children, or to draw their attention to yourself.

Some parents breathe a sigh of relief when they learn that their teenager “only” drinks: “At least he doesn’t use drugs.” Alcohol is regarded as the lesser of two evils. Other parents, on the contrary, begin to panic because of a glass of champagne drunk at a party, establish a strict ban on any alcoholic beverages. In any case, the teenager must control his own behavior.

If a teenager came home drunk, be sure to talk to him. It is better to do this to both parents the next day. Scolding and reading morals is pointless. It is better to tell what you experienced when you saw him at the door, how it upset you. Find out where, with whom and under what circumstances it happened. Do not interrogate, speak calmly, sum up: now that the child has received a new experience, it is up to him how to behave further.

At the age of 13-15, teenagers do not believe that alcohol can cause a heart attack or a stomach ulcer. Therefore, it is better to tell that due to the frequent consumption of alcohol, weight may increase, the menstrual cycle may be disturbed, or potency may decrease. It must be warned that alcohol reduces self-control and the ability to assess the situation, which can cause inappropriate behavior, violence, unprotected sexual contact, injury, as well as intoxication of the body and exacerbation of chronic diseases.

Persistent addiction is more likely to occur in teenagers whose friends, relatives, or parents drink regularly. Families where the child is given due attention, are interested in his problems, friends, and also instill skills in effective communication, critical thinking and decision-making, are less likely to encounter such problems. Parents can help a teenager form a scale of life values, increase self-esteem, organize leisure activities: involve them in creative activities or sports.

Drugs: Don’t Be Afraid to Discuss

The age of young people who use psychoactive substances is constantly decreasing, and the range of these substances is expanding. In some countries, the use of “soft” drugs among young people has already become a bigger problem than smoking.

Many teenagers consider drugs to be part of the youth subculture. If you ask them about the reasons for using psychoactive substances, the answers will be quite predictable: “for the company”, “relieves tension”, “for confidence”, “because of a bad relationship with parents”, “nothing to do”, “out of interest”, “For pleasure”, “I can’t refuse”.

It often seems to adults that in their prosperous family, the child is insured against drug use. But the overprotection of caring parents who deprive children of independence can lead to the fact that the child does not learn to assert himself in the team, resist peer pressure, will be easily persuaded, which means that he runs the risk of falling into the network of drug distributors. Another extreme can lead to the same situation – the lack of control on the part of parents, giving the child complete freedom of action.

Signs and characteristics of behavior that allow us to assume that a child is using drugs:

• sudden changes in mood and physical condition, such as rage, turning into laughter, increased activity, abruptly replaced by lethargy and drowsiness;
• inappropriate behavior (irritability, laughter, incoherent speech, impaired coordination) without a characteristic alcoholic odor;
• increase in expenses for the child, loss of money from home;
• a sharp change in the circle of communication and the emergence of a specific jargon.

If something like this happens to your child, do not rush to draw unequivocal conclusions, lecture, threaten or punish. Consult a psychologist and, if your fears are confirmed, go to him with your child. And most importantly, keep in touch with your teenager. Your support and understanding will help him cope with the difficulties.

Close and trusting relationships between parents and a child, spending time together, accepting and respecting his independence, willingness to help and unconditional love are the best “vaccine” against drug addiction. But besides this, a growing child must be warned that taking any drugs sooner or later can lead to dependence on them. Drug use, especially injecting drugs, increases the risk of contracting HIV, viral hepatitis and sexually transmitted infections.

If the child cannot organize his own leisure time, help him find an activity that will interest him. It can be sports, participation in a musical group or a theater club, games like Mafia or intellectual quizzes, hiking trips, good youth camps. Sometimes it is enough to invite a son or daughter to invite friends home – they will have a territory for communication, and parents will be able to get to know those people their child likes better.

Internet: uncontrolled consumption

Children who regularly use the Internet can be divided into three groups. The first is visitors to the “right” sites: they are looking for information to complete school assignments or useful information for general development. This group is mainly made up of well-performing schoolchildren. They perceive parental wishes to limit the time spent on the Web surprisingly adequately.

True, there are not very many such children. There are more of those who belong to the second group, who need the Internet for the sake of the Internet. The third group is a mixed option. They need the Internet both for obtaining information and for virtual communication. It is useful for such teenagers to talk about the dangers of the Web, avoiding categorical prohibitions that they do not understand.

Since the Internet is an area in which children become competent very quickly, parental control is very difficult here. Prohibitions irritate teenagers and only increase their activity on the Web, and parents feel that they are powerless to change something, especially if they themselves tend to “hang out” in front of the monitor.

However, it is important to be aware of the threats to children’s health and safety that the World Wide Web can pose. According to Microsoft experts, the danger is aggression in social networks, acquaintance in social networks and instant messengers with criminals and propaganda of violence and an unhealthy lifestyle that can be encountered on the Internet. Also remember about the existence of Internet fraud and the risk of infecting your computer with viruses.

But the biggest parental concern is to avoid the formation of addiction in children to computer games, the Internet, mobile phones and other gadgets: today’s teenagers are rapidly losing the ability to keep themselves busy in the absence of such devices.

Parents can reduce risk

There are many factors that positively influence the life and health of a teenager, protecting him from risky behavior. To name just a few of the most important:

– mutual understanding and support in the family, trusting relationships with parents;

– good relations with teachers and peers at school;

– self-esteem, high self-esteem, self-knowledge, the ability to introspection;

– firm ideas about what is good and what is bad, a developed moral sense;

– optimism, a sense of confidence in the future, the desire to get an education, find a good job;

– the absence of examples of alcohol abuse, smoking, drug use in the environment of a teenager;

— rational attitude to risks, ability to overcome difficulties.

These factors are largely determined by parents, their own behavior and attitude towards children. Some parents succeed intuitively, they feel their child well and know how to give him what he needs. Others experience and act by trial and error. There are those who have to master theory, facts and figures in order to be convincing in their explanations or prohibitions.

In any case, efforts will not be in vain, because risks are the likelihood of an unpleasant event, but by no means its inevitability. Our experience of working with children and parents has repeatedly confirmed this.