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Psychologist: «Holidays are a very family event, when everyone should feel loved, needed, everyone should feel joy. However, here and there there is a tendency to cruelly get rid of something that does not fit the perfect picture, which somehow distorts our idea of what this holiday should look like ». Every year, doctors and veterinarians pay attention to the dark side of the celebration. It is on them that the responsibility for what constitutes an obstacle on the way to the satisfaction of exorbitant ambitions is transferred to them.
- Arranging sumptuous holidays, according to the visions created, among others by advertising, it is mainly due to social pressure
- The idea of a perfect holiday does not fit the elderly, sick and haggard pets, which have already become a burden
- Every year before Christmas, seniors are abandoned in hospitals and tetrapods are euthanized – doctors and vets are increasingly taking a voice on this matter
- You can find more up-to-date information on the TvoiLokony home page
Either sumptuous or not at all. Nobody wants to be this worse
The house is all lit up, new tableware on a white tablecloth and a fragrant Christmas tree straight from the forest – because Christmas must be magical. There must be everything from last year, and even more, because what is old and worn out does not fully fit into the vision that has been successfully crammed into our heads from the beginning of November. Before Christmas, you have to clean up – get rid of what is disfiguring, spoil the atmosphere, and throw it away before it becomes a scratch on a perfect family picture. Prove something – to yourself and to others. Holidays have become a social construct, a theater in which we become puppets of our own ideas and ambitions.
– There is a lot of pressure in society regarding organization of sumptuous holidays, buying expensive gifts. Taking into account the material criterion, we divide society into better and worse. Of course, we ourselves do not want to fall into the latter category. This can be seen, for example, in the comments on the activities of charity organizations. When poor people wish for a more expensive gift as part of a Christmas package, there are voices that this is evidence of their greed, pride, and ingratitude. Some people think that someone who is poor has no right to have such dreams, says psychologist Katarzyna Milska, assistant at the Department of Life Quality Research at the Medical University of Gdańsk.
Holidays on credit. How do we allow ourselves to be manipulated?
The magic of Christmas for money is already standard. Poles very often borrow in December. According to more than half of the bankers who responded in a survey commissioned by the Polish Bank Association in 2019, interest in consumer loans has been growing since the beginning of December. Every third borrower wants to borrow at least 3. zloty. From year to year we spend more and more on the organization of holidays.
– Christmas can be associated with a huge level of stress, for example due to family or financial circumstances. Advertisements that tempt us with the product reach us from all over the place. We are dealing with manipulation. Advertisements shape certain attitudes in us, provoke certain behavior. Some advertising messages state that the purchase of a given product will help the customer to better fulfill their social roles. Ads can be emotional, and people are susceptible to it, especially before Christmas. They want to belong to the majority, they don’t want to be alienated. They need to follow the crowd. That is why they more and more often forget what is the most important thing in Christmas, they get lost in it all – explains the psychologist.
Also read: Emotional blackmail – what is it, why is it used and how not to succumb to it?
When not everything can be swept under the rug
Before Christmas, not only sellers in shopping malls and bank employees have their hands full, but also those who are transferred to uncomfortable duties. Every year, doctors and veterinarians try to pay attention to cruel practicesthat occur in hospitals and animal clinics. The sick and infirm seniors come to the wards without medical indications. Families bring them back and disappear without a trace. It happens that they lead to an extreme exhaustion of the body earlier, so that they are not sent back with nothing at once. They do not give seniors any medications, they starve them – because they want to spend Christmas according to an ideal vision, in which there is no room for mundane problems.
– In some countries, such as Italy, there is a cult of the elderly. We often miss it. Seniors are often perceived as a burden, we have a disrespectful attitude towards them, we underestimate their wisdom in life. We mistakenly assume that if someone is dependent on us, he needs constant help, he cannot decide for himself. Sometimes, elderly people left in hospitals for the holidays try to show apparent understanding for their relatives, it happens that they use defense mechanisms. They rationalize the situation, look for calming and more acceptable rational arguments for the events that are difficult for them. They say, for example: “I am in the hospital, at least I will have peace” or “at least I will do a detailed examination”. They can also diminish the importance of the event, claiming that they did not care about this holiday at all – points out Katarzyna Milska.
Due to the soulless pursuit of Christmas perfection, the smaller one also suffers. Vets in December take notes a record number of inquiries about the euthanasia of old, diseased pets. After all, quadrupeds with protruding ribs, moldy hair and skin diseases cannot hang around the Christmas Eve table. This would make the entire inflated bubble burst instantly.
“We have a killing art market in the run-up to Christmas, and whoever offers the lower price will be chosen to perform the service. For me as a doctor, the question is “how much does it cost to put a dog / cat to sleep?” that’s one of the most unpleasant questions I hear. And I always answer them with a different question “what is the indication for euthanasia?”. And not once in six years of work have I heard that the animal is chronically ill, treated, has a history of the disease, but the condition has worsened, that it is time to say goodbye. Never. What I hear makes a piece of my heart burst every time – writes lek on his blog. vet. Aleksandra Cyra from the “Borsuk” Veterinary Office.
To protect animals from what may happen to them from people making morally controversial decisions, shelters during the holiday season withhold puppies from adopting them. Hospitals cannot withhold admissions for elderly patients. Everything seems to indicate that some internal medicine wards will once again become sad stores, where there is simply no holiday.
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