It seems to us that we can dispose of ourselves at our own discretion, but this is not entirely true. Life is subject to fluctuations in daily, seasonal and annual biorhythms. How does this affect our desire?
The mood suddenly deteriorates, constantly sleepy and irritates everything, even a loved one. And the next day there is a wonderful change: the same man becomes the most desirable in the world, the energy is seething, you want to sing and laugh, dance and work. Probably every woman is familiar with such amazing transformations. What makes us change? Biorhythms of the body, which depend on how the endocrine and nervous systems work. And they, in turn, are influenced by the place where we live (is it close to the sea? How many sunny days are there in a year?), the foods we eat … Biorhythms also affect women’s sexual desire – it often does not coincide with men’s and , which is probably why it seems especially mysterious. But we will try to figure it out…
Where does that come from
The substances that turn a teenage girl into a woman are two hormones (luteinizing and follicle stimulating) responsible for the production of estrogens and androgens. Sexual orientation in adolescence is only developing, but by about 26 years of age, preferences are determined. The hormonal background stabilizes, the girl feels her body in a new way. However, the disclosure of sexuality occurs gradually over many years. Until the age of 30, sexuality awakens only in 17% of women, after 30 – in another 40% and reaches a peak by the age of 50.
But men are different. Testosterone, which is responsible for libido, allows them to begin sexual activity at the age of 18-20, which continues steadily until the age of 40-45. At the same time, healthy men from 20 to 40-45 years old experience an orgasm “every time” or “almost every time” having sex. It’s more difficult with women. According to recent surveys, only 64% of women achieved orgasm during their last sexual intercourse. Most begin to enjoy sex after 35 years. It turns out that at the age when women are sexually open, men experience a decline in attraction.
In both sexes, testosterone is responsible for sexual activity. The higher its level, the more willingly we enter into close relationships.
But not all the difficulties of a couple are a consequence of differences in the temperament of a man and a woman. “Of course, our age and level of sexual desire play a role, but often deeper interpersonal conflicts are hidden behind sexual mismatch,” says Olga Boyko, a Gestalt therapist. “Sometimes even sexual problems mask real ones that partners find it unpleasant to discuss. In this case, clarifying the relationship between partners helps to restore harmony in the sexual sphere.
Day and night
Sometimes it is difficult for men to understand the needs of a woman just for a month or even a day. In both sexes, testosterone is responsible for sexual activity. The higher its level, the more willingly we enter into close relationships. But in men, testosterone levels fluctuate slightly, but in women everything is subject to the hormonal cycle: in its first phase, desire increases, because there are a lot of estrogens and testosterone in the blood. And in the second phase, the level of progesterone rises, and it suppresses attraction. So, women’s desire coincides with men’s only two weeks a month.
In addition to this, the peak production of luteinizing (conditionally “female”) hormone occurs at night, and testosterone (conditionally “male” hormone) reaches its maximum in the early morning. Therefore, men love morning sex, while in women, desire wakes up in the late afternoon and reaches its maximum by the time of going to bed.
The season is love
Partners can only negotiate, taking into account not only hormones, but also mutual convenience. “We are social beings,” continues Olga Boyko, “and the satisfaction of many of our needs depends not only on nature, but also on the customs and traditions accepted in culture in general and in specific respects in particular. What’s more, when there’s a regular time for sex, the partners usually adjust and the desire starts to come back.”
Do not forget that dialogue with a partner is of great importance for a harmonious sex life.
The good news is that the desires of men and women are not always different. The decline and rise in sexual activity in both sexes coincides with the seasons! According to Russian researchers, women are more sexually active in summer. At this time, the hormones testosterone and estradiol (a type of estrogen) are synthesized in large quantities in their body. But in autumn and winter, libido decreases: this is due to an increased concentration of progesterone in the blood. In men, too, the level of testosterone in the blood in the summer is on average 30% higher than in winter. In this matter, the couple is in complete harmony.
Zone of influence
Hormones affect our sex life, health and mood. And in appearance too.
For example, if a woman begins to grow hair in a male pattern, this indicates an imbalance of sex hormones, in particular an increased level of testosterone. The condition of our skin also depends on hormones. Women’s skin is sensitive to estrogens: they have a positive effect on the formation of elastic fibers (collagen and fibroblasts) and increase the level of hyaluronic acid, which retains moisture in the skin, making it elastic. If you find changes in sexual habits, mood, and well-being that come on suddenly and last for more than a month, a visit to an endocrinologist can clear things up.
“There are symptoms associated with an excess or deficiency of one or another hormone in the body,” explains endocrinologist Andrey Podzolkov, chief physician of the Chaika clinic in Metropolis. — For example, thyroid hormones are responsible for basal metabolic processes, that is, providing cells with energy. Accordingly, problems with the thyroid gland can affect the functioning of the whole organism, including affecting a decrease in libido. Some people just want to know their hormone levels. But in the absence of complaints and without a doctor’s prescription, this is not necessary. The level of most hormones depends on many reasons: time of day, stress, day of the menstrual cycle, and others. The doctor prescribes the analysis strictly according to the indications and tells in detail how to take it. Do-it-yourself tests often lead to false results.”
And do not forget that a dialogue with a partner is of great importance for a harmonious sexual life: we can learn about his desires and needs, communicate our own, discuss them – and take steps towards each other.