Return to your nature

For her

Maria Andreeva, gestalt therapist

Purpose: allow yourself to desire and be desired. Reveal the codes of your femininity and dare to experiment with your partner.

Create your movie

exercise for her. Let a book you read, a memory, or a fantasy be your starting point. Let your imagination run wild. The only condition is that everything in your film must be extremely feminine – as feminine as you can imagine. Clothing, accessories, situations, behavior… Do not subject yourself to any censorship, openly accept pictures and images of superfemininity. Gradually unfold your erotic scenario, starting with dating, flirting, seduction and moving on to sex scenes, experiences and experiments. Pay special attention to how you feel during each scene. When your “movie” is over, ask yourself how you express yourself, your femininity in real life and what prevents you from releasing it, realizing it to the fullest (upbringing, complexes, real or perceived expectations of your partner …). Think about how you could embody the images you imagined in yourself and your relationships.

Celebrating Femininity

Exercise for two ask yourself, what is your femininity especially noticeable in – body shape, gestures, manner of dressing, gait, habits, behavior? Then ask this question to your partner. Give him time to think and name everything he finds exciting about you. And then – highlight one thing and utter an ode to your uniqueness – any, but always with erotic overtones. This exercise will allow you to discover something new in yourself, but also to awaken the curiosity and interest of your partner, to experiment together. And of course, to feel appreciation for his view of your femininity.

Для него

Alain Heril, psychoanalyst and sexologist, author of Pour developper sa libido (Bussière, 2011).

Purpose: believe again in your strength and power. Which does not imply violence or domination, only “healthy aggressiveness”, well-controlled energy, which in sex benefits both a man and a woman.

Awaken the warrior in you

exercise for him. make yourself comfortable. For a while, just breathe evenly and rhythmically. Then, with each breath, try to speak (and imagine) that some powerful and aggressive force is entering you. Combine this with the erotic visions that come to your mind. Then focus on exhaling – exhale only calmness and tenderness. Repeat this exercise as many times as needed to strengthen the feeling: “I breathe in aggression and breathe out tenderness.” Pay attention to what images arise in you in connection with this alternation and how you feel.

Imagine that you are a real warrior, standing in the thicket of the forest and seeing several women in the distance. They look at you, admiring and a little scared. And you start the dance of passion, while uttering militant cries (remember, for example, how the players of the New Zealand national rugby team traditionally perform a battle dance before the match, slapping their legs and chest). You feel the excitement in women is growing. You approach them, but instead of continuing the aggressive dance, stroke and caress each of them, slowly and gently. Pay attention to your movements and feelings, as well as their reactions …

Masculinity forever

Exercise for two first of all, practice restraining yourself and your movements during sex. Try not to rush in order to feel and realize all those emotions and sensations that both you and your partner are infinitely rich in. In addition, a slow rhythm gives a man the opportunity to feel like the master of his own body and especially an erection, taking care of which is an important task for most of us.

Slow down the pace, and then, at the moment of penetration, stop completely. Breathe deeply and rhythmically, focus on the sensations – yours and your partner’s. Feel the beauty and power of this moment – the most intimate in your communication. Do not stop feeling like a partner, look at each other, talk, caress each other …