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We write long to-do lists, we try to optimize time, but it’s still not enough. “Well, nothing, you need to be patient, and then it will be easier,” we reassure ourselves. But a month later, things are still unfinished business. Why do we load ourselves with work and why the cherished rest never comes?
How long have you been resting? Holidays do not always mean a trip to the sea or to the mountains. Sometimes you do not need to pack a suitcase and fly for a long time.
Walking down the street at a leisurely pace, slowly drinking coffee, wrapping yourself in a blanket and reading a book, or just sitting in silence and not thinking about work – all this is also relaxation. You need to allow yourself to do it not a couple of times a year and not when work has exhausted your nerves and you promised your boss to quit if he does not sign an application for a vacation.
Taking short breaks every day is important. In practice, this is much more difficult to do. Deeds, deeds – it seems that if we stop, we will hopelessly lag behind and forget about our existence. And no one will do the work for us while we are messing around, you say, and you will be partly right.
But something else is curious: when we have a random free half hour, we again try to occupy them with something useful and urgent.
A similar situation develops sometimes after passing the exam. The man diligently prepared, even in a dream he answered at the blackboard. And now the exam has been passed, and now it is free for a while. And then comes the void. What’s next? How about just doing nothing? But what to do if things are redone? That’s right, find yourself a new one. And in general, there is no need to cool off, it’s time to do something useful, someone will strictly say.
Alarms
At such a moment, we make a choice – in no case should we sit idly by. And the work is, and even in such a volume that you have to hurry. Then it becomes a habit. Got a free minute? Great, because we always have something to do with it. Attempts to intentionally load yourself with work, the desire to redo everything are often ways to avoid meeting with anxiety. She is so strong that the prospect of coming into contact with her is frightening. Unconsciously, we use various techniques to forget about it.
Anxiety is not a pleasant feeling, but it sends us important signals. Her appearance means that something deeply does not suit us, threatens calmness, self-esteem.
What it is about depends on the specific situation. It’s enough just to stop for a while and listen to yourself: if I now allow myself to mess around, how will I feel? Someone, allowing himself a well-deserved rest, will feel like a bad mother or hostess, an insufficiently motivated or responsible employee.
Until we dare to face our anxiety, it will be difficult for us to change our habits.
It happens that we choose to stay late at work in order to avoid an acute feeling of loneliness, because no one is waiting at home, or waiting, but these relationships do not bring joy, and we do not see a simple solution to the situation.
Besides, when we are at work, how can we reproach ourselves for not doing enough? So we appease the inner critic, we try to appear before him in the right light.
Is it bad or good? The strategy of “always busy with something” can bring relief. We can even praise ourselves for doing more than we planned. But the anxiety we distracted ourselves from didn’t go away. Gradually, emotional burnout will be added to it, since internal tension only grows. And, overloading ourselves with work, we do not leave ourselves a chance to relax.
Change the usual scenario
From the outside it seems that everything is clear: you need to stop and give yourself a rest. But in fact, everyone who is familiar with the state of “squirrels in the wheel” knows that it is not easy to jump out of it. Why?
We justify the choice with too busy schedule, the requirements of the boss, who has long been accustomed to the fact that we work hard for two, but deprive ourselves of free time not just because we have a lot to do. By refusing to take a break, we run away from ourselves every time. It is impossible to redo all the cases: the work has the property of never ending. And as soon as we clean the house to a shine, the children will return from school, and everything will be as before again.
Getting in touch with your painful topics often takes time
Until we dare to face our anxiety, get to know it better and find out what it protects us from, it will be difficult for us to change our habitual way. Even after becoming a time management guru, we will notice that free time is leaking somewhere without a trace. We have time for a lot, but it is still not enough for something.
Meeting with yourself, your fears, doubts, anxieties is always risky. Getting in touch with your painful topics often takes time. And in this case, it’s good if someone who is ready to support is nearby.
This is the path to change that starts from within. Sometimes clients are surprised: how is it, it seems that there are so many things to do, but now I have time for myself. Sometimes, time speeds up, and we barely have time to catch our breath. And another time, on the contrary, it stretches slowly, allowing everything to be in time. But it is quite possible to make friends with him. And the solution to this problem often lies within us.