“Respect your rhythm!”

Psychologies : Are we really dependent on time?

Marik Khazin : Rather, we do not depend on time, but on the ability to manage it. Do not obey, but treat it creatively, be spontaneous, improvise. After all, the concept of time is ambiguous. For example, it serves as a space for our feelings, our relationships with people, ourselves … When there is no time, there is no place left for ourselves or for others. Is it possible to imagine an open, trusting relationship with a loved one, children, parents, if you do not devote time to this? Personally, I learned to manage time through art. When I was young, when I was making musical arrangements, I had to be precise and count minutes and seconds. Then, having become a theater director, I had to understand during rehearsals how long the performance would eventually last. Without being at odds with the times, I would not have lasted a year in this profession. Subsequently, it was from my theatrical and cinematic background that I learned the most useful time management skills.

Why do we have this keen desire to subdue time?

M. H. : It originates in childhood, when the baby feels like the center of the universe. He is helpless and completely dependent on others, but it seems to him that his mother feeds and protects him because he wants it. As the child grows up, some of this sense of omnipotence persists: we are all (unconsciously) convinced that we can control everything. Because of this, there is a constant tension and a feeling of guilt, if something does not work out, it gets out of control. This sense of power extends to time as well. Moreover, modern society invites us to join the general race, which is based on control over time. In order to prevent the feeling of our own insignificance and defenselessness, we strive to do as much as possible in a short time, to leave behind a brighter and at least no worse mark than others. We are social animals and are forced to take into account the requirements of society, but they are not suitable for everyone. Who is in touch with their inner rhythm (except children and crazy ones, of course)? Perhaps only creative people who are working on awareness of their inner pace.

Can we be harmed by excessive control?

M. H. : The danger lies in the fact that a person who constantly controls everything ceases to feel

As we plan our lives, can we stay in touch with our desires?

M. H. : Set life goals, plan better flexibly and gently. If you do not build any plans at all, there will be little “output”. But if you rigidly schedule all your time, leaving no room for spontaneity, life will become like moving a robot in a closed maze. Carried away by the end result, it is important not to forget how we go to it. The result and the process are not the same. The result exists in a sense outside of time – this is an event, a point, and then you need to set a new goal. The process is our whole life. At the same time, some of us are more focused on the result, others – on the process. Relations with time (as well as the sense of time) are different. Those who are result-oriented have a worse sense of time, and they have to tightly control it. Process-oriented people, on the other hand, often forget about the goal. The resources of time are inexhaustible, but in order to use them, you need to remember the goal and at the same time be able to be in the flow, live here and now.

Why do we not always enjoy our plans?

M. H. : This happens to those who have betrayed their dream, their destiny. At work or at home, they live their lives as if it were a heavy duty. In such a situation, resistance must arise, steady and growing, which is almost impossible to ignore – laziness. It usually arises at those moments when they sound “must”, “must”, “should”. It is worth replacing them with light “I want”, “I dream”, as laziness will disappear. The stronger the desire, the faster it transforms into a goal, and later into specific actions to achieve it. Obviously, laziness saves us from fuss, haste and excessive stress. Every moment we are faced with a choice – to live as it turns out or to fulfill our dream. So why not turn the time of your life into a space for interesting meetings and extraordinary events? It is enough to allow yourself to dream about what you once really wanted. After all, as soon as we really want something, the missing forces are immediately found to go towards the goal. And therefore, by giving up a dream, we deprive ourselves not only of the chance to realize it, but also of the incentive to live.

What do you need to do to stay in touch with your desires?

M. H. : When a person begins to work on himself, he asks himself questions. What is his life about, what does he live, breathe, what is the meaning of life, what is his childhood dream and how far is he from making it come true? How to “clear” the path to yourself? How to take your place in this world? I am convinced that in order to get close to the answers to these questions, it is necessary to get rid of the superfluous in life, and first of all, from activities that waste time, effort and energy in vain. Try and answer these questions: “What would my life look like if I were free from the need to earn money? What can I do to bring my life closer to this ideal?”