Mom is loving, dad is responsible. At the same time, as parents, they are inattentive, and against this background, the daughter learned insults and actively uses them. The girl behaves badly, but her behavior is provoked by her parents. Her parents reinforce her behavior.
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To be offended in response to an insult is not necessary, it does not work. Although, in some cases…
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Whether resentment is an innate emotion is a moot point; in any case, young children still don’t really know how to be offended and learn this vigorously.
For children, resentment is a natural means of pressure on loved ones — parents, friends, brothers and sisters. Children use resentment quite arbitrarily: they know to whom they are offended and why. Wasted, in vain, to no one — small children are not offended. Only from adolescence, the feeling of resentment is already fixed as a largely involuntary emotional reaction.
However, resentment is not a senseless reaction; as a rule, it is a manipulative action: behind most resentments, one or another internal benefit is hidden.
Sometimes the purpose of resentment lies on the surface and is understandable: as a rule, this is pressure on a person’s feelings. Sometimes a person himself does not immediately understand the hidden meaning of his resentment, but a careful analysis, as a rule, reveals the conditional benefit of resentment.
The habit of seeking one’s resentment is not born in a vacuum. This usually occurs in families where grievances are resolved and provoked. If parents are inattentive to children, they don’t talk to them seriously, and you can get something from parents only by insults — this is a provocation to use insults. On the other hand, even with attentive parents, children can try to achieve something with resentment. If parents allow this and react to resentment, such parents allow children’s resentment and the behavior of resentment is reinforced. Apparently this is not the way to do it.
Resentment
Resentment is a tendency to see resentment in everything and be offended. The touchiness of character for a human child works to attract attention, as a psychological defense and to obtain conditional and real benefits. How to wean yourself from resentment? See →
Offended by you: how to react?
Growing up, people begin to understand that resentment is not a civilized way of resolving disagreements, and they learn to live without resentment. However, not everyone grows up, and somehow you have to react to the insults of others anyway. See →
How to get rid of your resentment
We are not perfect, and sometimes we get offended. We ourselves may not like it: it hurts at heart, and relationships deteriorate. How to deal with resentment, how to get rid of unnecessary resentment? If you are an adult, mentally healthy and educated person surrounded by the same beautiful people, you will not need insults and you will not face them yourself. The two main areas for getting rid of resentment are working with yourself and building a reasonable relationship. See →