Religious marriage

Religious weddings: different cultures and faiths

Catholics, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, believing and practicing newlyweds often choose to unite before God. Rituals, ceremonies, places of worship differ from one religion to another. Explanations.

Catholic marriage

Catholic marriage celebrates the exchange of consents. It is about a public and free engagement of the spouses, one towards the other. The celebration is normally done in front of the witnesses and the parish priest or a priest, and the guests of the bride and groom. Normally, separated people cannot get married a second time after their divorce. In France, 90 of the 000 civil marriages are followed by a church celebration. The religious ceremony includes several stages prepared in advance between the future spouses and the parish priest. In all, for six months, the future spouses will meet the priest who will unite them. Meetings with other couples are planned. Will address subjects of “work” or reflection around the concept of “Love” or “fidelity”. One of the two bride and groom must be baptized, not necessarily both.

The service lasts between 30 minutes and 2 hours, depending on the desire of the bride and groom to experience a great marriage with all the unfolding of the religious sacraments. From the first opening reading, to the psalm, then to the reading of the extracts of the Gospel chosen by the bride and groom, to the famous “yes” and the exchange of alliances, the ceremony can easily last more than an hour. Entering and leaving the church are two defining moments for the guests and the bride and groom. On entering the church, the bride is traditionally accompanied by her father who, symbolically, leads her to the groom. A moving background music is appropriate. Likewise, at the exit of the bride and groom, once the consents have been exchanged, the guests, friends and family will let their joy burst with a shower of rose petals, rice or, more original, soap bubbles …

Muslim marriage

The marriage between a man and a woman of Muslim faith takes place in front of the parents of the bride and groom and at least two witnesses. They express the wish to live as “husband and wife”. Most often, they meet the imam, a religious representative of Islam, a month before the ceremony, but this is not compulsory. The marriage can be celebrated in the mosque or at the home of one of the bride and groom, or of their parents, the most common practice.

Beforehand, the two families agree on the amount of the dower, the dowry that the husband will have to give to his wife. It is customary for the dower to be mentioned orally at the time of the marriage vows between the two people. The man thus shows his affection for the woman, as if offering her a present. He also shows with this present that he continues to provide for the needs of the woman he marries. After the religious ceremony, a feast is usually organized over several days, sometimes up to a week, according to the wishes of the families. In Muslim countries, these festivities often take place on Thursday and Friday. In France, the festival takes place on Saturday and Sunday. Women and men usually party in separate rooms. The custom is that the bride changes outfits seven times, a custom sometimes shared by the husband. Another custom, not religious but very followed, the henna is placed in the hollow of the right hand of the spouses. The groom goes alone to the matrimonial home to wait for his new wife.

Jewish marriage

Jewish marriage is called “Kiddushin”, which comes from KDSH, “holy”. Marriage is equivalent to an act of purification of the couple. The first step is to prepare for marriage with one of the rabbis in your community. A date is decided for the religious ceremony, which, legally, can only take place after a civil ceremony. Religious marriage takes place according to specific stages and rites. The woman and the man must take several courses before marriage. About two months before the ceremony, the future spouses must study in detail with the rabbi the so-called “family purity” laws, the Niddah. These are laws governing the relationship between spouses, to each other and separately. After completing these courses, the woman will be allowed to go to the ritual bath, the Mikvah, the day before the wedding. Conditions without it both spouses must be Jewish, as well as their parents, who must be religiously married. The witnesses, men only, must also be Jews.

The ceremony cannot take place on Shabbat, Saturday. On the day chosen to unite, the bride and groom must fast. The groom, who wears the traditional tallit, prayer shawl, and the bride stand under the nuptial canopy, the chuppah. The rabbi blesses them. Then the rabbi reads the marriage certificate or the ketubah. It is a legal document written before the wedding, by the engaged couple and their families, which is given to the bride during the ceremony. Financial or specific clauses in matters of divorce, widowhood, or inheritance are established according to the legislation of the country. This ketubah is then signed by the witnesses and the groom. Next are the seven blessings. The groom gives the ring to his wife and puts on his own wedding ring. The groom then breaks a glass in remembrance of the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem. After the ceremony, the bride and groom are considered to have the status of king and queen for one year, and particularly during the seven days following the wedding, where they are welcomed into the family who offer them their meal to make the party last. and their status as newlyweds.

Hindu marriage

Traditional Hindu marriage celebrates the union between a man and a woman in order to form a family, and also the alliance between two families. The religious ceremony lasts one day and sometimes several days depending on the region. Customs differ according to castes, regions and countries. Historically, “arranged marriages” have existed in the Hindu religion. Parents use their network of friends, family, or a matchmaker to find spouses. In this case, the family of the future wife must offer a dowry to the family of the husband. This dowry can be represented by land, a house or money.

For the Indians, marriage is a “social” event in their life, which must respond to respect for various customs and traditions. The celebration takes place in three stages: the Makjidham, the Thirumanam and the Var Mala.

The Makjidham is the meeting of two people who will be united. To do this, parents called on acquaintances, friends or family members. The age difference between the two spouses must not exceed two years. This stage takes place several weeks, or even several months, before the celebration of the marriage.

Le Thirumanam is the actual ceremony. It lasts between 1 to 12 days. The bride and groom are dressed in traditional costumes. The woman is dressed in a red sari and adorned with jewelry. The man is wearing a white vetti, some sort of sweater and a wedding hat. First of all, the tholan, the bride-to-be’s brother and family members will pick up the groom from his home. The latter must then offer his brother-in-law a gold ring. Each adorned with a necklace of white flowers, the bride and groom arrive at the manavari, the place where the ceremony will take place, to attend the ritual which will end with a throwing of flowers, the Poomanam Iduthal and the Arimna. The two spouses then offer each other various gifts such as necklaces or gold coins. The newlyweds revolve around the sacred fire, the saptapathy, seven times to pay homage to the gods. The celebration ends with the Kaichi Utrrudal, a meal served to all the guests.

Finally, the Var Malaconsist in welcoming the groom into the bride’s family. The newlyweds then offer garlands of flowers to symbolize their union, called “var mala” or “Te jay mala”.

Once the marriage is celebrated, the spouses are united for eternity. If the husband dies, the wife should, in theory, wear a white sari for the rest of her life. These women are put aside during religious festivals. Hindu law prohibits widows from remarrying. A law dating from the time of the British settlers abolished this ban. In some families, a second marriage is still very badly perceived today.