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In a relationship where you are humiliated and insulted, it’s hard. But even after separation from the abuser, it does not always get easier. The reason for this is post-traumatic disorder. We tell you what it is and how to deal with it.
In December 2020, actor Shia LaBeouf’s ex-girlfriend Talia Barnett sued him for constant physical, emotional and psychological abuse during a relationship. In particular, she claimed that LaBeouf strangled her and deliberately infected her with a venereal disease.
In an interview on BBC radio, Barnett stated that after her relationship with the actor, she developed post-traumatic disorder (PTSD). According to her, LaBeouf intimidated her and constantly tried to control her. “He was very jealous of me and forbade me to look other men in the eye. Our relationship could deteriorate at any moment due to mere trifles, ”said the girl.
“I started having severe panic attacks – especially often they happened when I woke up at night for any reason – even because of the noise in the street or to go to the toilet.
It’s not customary for us to talk about this – about the fact that after a toxic relationship you have to restore mental health, about how much effort and time it takes to become a normal person again, as you were before, ”Talia said.
Shia LaBeouf himself in an interview said that many of the accusations of his ex-girlfriend are groundless, but she has the right to publicly express her claims and he is ready to be responsible for his actions.
How can a toxic relationship lead to mental illness?
“PTSD usually occurs after severe mental trauma, often associated with a threat to life and health. The patient is tormented by intrusive memories, nightmares, and often he begins to avoid everything that can somehow remind him of the trauma.
His mood changes dramatically, he is emotionally unstable. Communication problems may appear, the patient becomes withdrawn, depression often develops.
Sometimes sudden loud noises or accidental touches can make him feel fearful or angry. If these symptoms persist for more than a month and prevent a person from living a normal life, a doctor may diagnose PTSD,” explains psychiatrist Aaron Tendler.
Dysfunctional relationships can also cause this disorder—and symptoms may persist long after a breakup with a partner.
How to restore mental health if it has suffered after a relationship with an abuser?
Everyone has their own way of recovering from an injury, and the help of a psychotherapist can be useful for many. “I always remind trauma patients that they are not alone and that their feelings of guilt and shame are understandable and normal.
Many (both teenagers and adults) in such a situation begin to blame themselves, not understanding why a close person whom they loved and trusted treated them so cruelly, explains psychiatrist Leela Magavi. It is important to show them that they are not to blame for anything.
I try to help patients recognize their strengths, their dreams and aspirations and regain their self-confidence and “voice”. Treatment is with psychotherapy, and if needed, medications are added to relieve symptoms of anxiety and depression.”
Mindfulness practices, yoga, dance, art, and sports can also help. “Furthermore, I often suggest that patients, as an exercise, make a list of reasons why they cannot be blamed for what happened. They then read the list aloud, and I help them process and understand the emotions that arise.
In another exercise, I play the role of an “offender” and invite them to express everything that hurts me – freely, without holding back. All this helps to recover after parting, ”concludes the expert.