How hard is it for people all over the world to experience a breakup? Scientists have learned the answer to this question: women endure it worse, but time heals them better.
The experiment of researchers from the University of Birmingham involved 5705 respondents from 96 countries (average age – 27 years). The scientists asked them to rate their emotional and physical suffering on a scale from 1 (no suffering) to 10 (unbearable pain). It turned out that women suffer more: they rated their emotional experiences at 6,84 points (6,58 for men), and physical – at 4,21 (3,75 for men).
At the same time, it is known that women often become the initiators of parting. The most common reason is “lack of understanding”.
Those who have been abandoned usually suffer more than those who have abandoned themselves or separated from a partner by mutual agreement. At the same time, women usually fully recover over time and eventually become even stronger emotionally. Men, on the other hand, usually do not recover, but simply “pull themselves together.”
From the point of view of evolution, for men, the quantity rather than the quality of partners is more important, so the breakup of relationships is less tragic for them.
The lead author of the study, Craig Morris of the University of Birmingham, believes that these differences have a biological basis: women can lose much more from poor choice of a partner.
“For a woman, one meeting can turn into nine months of pregnancy and many years of caring for a child, and a man, in principle, can spend nothing on a child at all. Since women are at risk because of the large biological “investment”, it is evolutionarily advantageous for them to be more selective in choosing a partner. Therefore, they experience a break in relations with a “quality” partner more difficult, ”explains Craig Morris.
From the point of view of evolution, for men, the quantity rather than the quality of partners is more important, so the breakup of relationships is less tragic for them. However, since men are biologically competitive with each other, it can be difficult for them to realize that they have to find and choose a partner again.
On average, a person under 30 has time to face a breakup three times, and at least once it is experienced so hard that it significantly reduces the quality of life for many weeks, or even months.