Regain the pleasure of eating

“I stopped limiting myself”

“At the age of sixteen, having turned into a girl with appetizing forms, I began to try different diets,” says Evgenia, 26, a personnel manager. – Despite the torment, the results were minimal: it took two or three kilograms, which quickly returned. On a diet, I controlled everything that got into my mouth. But then she swept away everything, unable to stop.

After another crisis, I realized that the problem was somewhere in my head. I considered myself not smart enough, dressed and behaved in such a way as to “merge with the landscape” as much as possible, spent my free time surfing the Internet and eating cookies pack after pack … What makes me think that harmony will solve all my problems?

I went to a psychoanalyst to learn how to love myself for who I am, since I can’t lose weight. But in the process of analysis, it became clear to me that being overweight is a way of protecting myself from the outside world and only a consequence of my real problem – unconscious guilt for not being born a boy, as my father wanted.

When I managed to free myself from this feeling, to forgive myself and my father, I felt happy. Interesting personality, attractive woman. I wanted to dress differently, I began to behave differently, men began to pay attention to me, my personal life changed for the better. I even got promoted at work, noting my activity.

I started to enjoy myself and life. Imperceptibly, in two months of therapy, I lost eight kilograms … Now I do not deny myself anything. If you want, I can eat both fried potatoes and chocolate. Without remorse and harm to the figure. I don’t eat by the clock, as before, but when I feel hungry. And I stop when I realize that I’m full.

“I thought I got better because of the birth,” recalls 30-year-old Venus. – But time passed, and I continued to gain weight: I emptied the refrigerator and, it seems, ate continuously. I cried, felt miserable and terribly guilty. And then in group psychotherapy it turned out that my hunger is not physiological, but emotional in nature. I ate to drown out the anxiety: I was afraid of not coping with the role of the mother.

44-year-old Valeria has been living in a diet-to-diet regime for a decade and a half. And today she bitterly admits that she cannot determine when she is hungry: “I eat to relax when I am nervous or don’t know what to do with myself … And the weekend has generally turned into a nightmare for me.”

“The foundations of our eating behavior are formed from the first days of life,” recalls psychotherapist Viktor Makarov. – So, the crying of a baby is not always caused by a feeling of hunger. If the mother is attentive to the child, she will quickly determine whether it is time to feed him, or if you just need to caress or change the diaper. So she teaches him to recognize the feeling of hunger and the joy of satiety that follows him.

However, even if the first months went well, things can get upset later – if the child is consoled with candy, instead of giving him time. “Grandma always repeated that only those who are members of the “clean plates society” are allowed to eat,” recalls 47-year-old Vladimir. “I hated buckwheat porridge, but I had to eat it up!”

The psychotherapist sees an explanation for this in the past: “Revolution, wars, famine – the older generation has experienced many hardships. Hence the attitude: to love means to feed.

The pitfalls of proper nutrition

Flour, fatty, sweet, salty – for many, these words have a negative connotation. There are incredibly many rules, and they contradict each other: do not eat after 18.00; eat little and often; eat more cereals and vegetables… Behind all the (voluntary) restrictions, it is almost impossible to hear the signals of your own body.

“The prohibitions imposed on themselves by those who seek to eat “according to the rules” become a source of constant internal stress,” explains psychotherapist Valentina Berezina. – Which ultimately leads to eating disorders. It would be good for all of us to remember that the rules of nutrition are designed for the average person, who simply does not exist in reality: each of us has our own food preferences, which should be respected.

The intention to deprive oneself of the pleasure of a favorite dish causes discomfort, emptiness, a feeling of loss – as if something important was taken away from a person that belongs to him by right. Forgoing a delicious steak for lunch will most likely lead to the fact that in the evening it will be difficult to resist the cake, which we would not look at if we listened to our desires during the day.

“Change your favorite chicken Kiev with a vegetable garnish for an unloved fish steamed with a leaf of lettuce? It’s better to eat what you like with peace of mind!” the psychotherapist advises.

Tame Hunger

It is important for us to be able to distinguish between physiological and emotional hunger, emphasizes Valentina Berezina, and for this she advises listening to ourselves. Rumbling or feeling of emptiness in the stomach, weakness or headache may indicate that it is time to replenish the reserves of the body.

The desire to eat a certain product is also an important signal that the body lacks nutrients. So, if you crave a lemon and its taste, usually incredibly sour, seems balanced, you may be lacking vitamin C.

If we turn to food under the influence of external factors (for example, we strive to master the entire assortment of an all-inclusive hotel restaurant), we are told by the desire to eat to feel good.

Nutritionist Katherine Kuréta-Vanoli of the Weight Analysis Group (GROS) urges her patients to come to terms with the sensations. The first step is to remember what hunger is.

“I ask you to skip breakfast and wait for physiological signals, such as rumbling in the stomach. For those who eat because they are afraid of feeling hungry, this causes anxiety. Some find it difficult to recognize these signals. After all, from excitement, too, can “suck in the pit of the stomach.”

Recently, 38-year-old Olga tried a similar exercise: “Even by three in the afternoon, without swallowing a crumb in the morning, I could not determine whether I was hungry or not. This struck me: for many years I was sure that I was eating right, because I always made sure that my diet was balanced. But it turned out that I no longer understand what hunger is. And I eat constantly.

When we have learned to recognize hunger, the most difficult thing remains: to be able to stop in time.

“An important signal is the loss of the sharpness of the taste of the dish, which at the beginning of the meal seemed wonderful,” says the nutritionist. When the pleasure subsides, it’s time to stop. Hunger may appear before the next meal, and a snack will be required. There is nothing wrong with this. We don’t get fat from what we eat when we’re hungry.”

Enable all senses

Those who bind themselves with limitations lose the ability to taste. That is why Catherine Cureta-Vanoli includes tasting sessions in her therapy. She invites the patient to bring any food and eat it, following a ritual whose purpose is to mobilize the senses.

Vision first: describe color, shape, packaging (study has shown that vision plays an important role in regulating hunger and satiety*). Then touch: what is the texture? Then the sense of smell: “Memories of smells can evoke emotions associated with childhood or loved ones, and explain why we seek solace in a bun or chocolate,” says the nutritionist.

Finally, taste: bite off a piece, roll it in your mouth to feel all the nuances, and swallow. “Patients say the taste has little to do with what they eat at home! But this is the same cheese or pate – they just are aware of what they eat. And therefore they satisfy their hunger before they eat everything to the end.

Engaging your senses means listening to your body’s signals and allowing yourself to enjoy your favorite foods. Let us remind ourselves that food intake is a biological need that the will should not control – otherwise the food “settings” will “go astray” in the body.

Enjoy food? The prospect is more rosy than to deprive yourself of everything.

pleasure step by step

Recommendations from the Overweight Analysis Group (GROS).

Before eating

• Wait until we are hungry to start eating.
• Do not start the day with the intention of restricting yourself in food.

While eating

• Do not force yourself to finish everything; stop when the pleasure is gone.
• Focus entirely on food (no TV, no magazines, no computer).
• Give yourself time to taste: examine the product, touch it, smell it, and then eat slowly.
• Feeling hungry between meals, be sure to sit down to have a quiet snack.

After meal

• Start a diary and write down everything that we ate, as well as those feelings and emotions that we experienced.
• Do not blame yourself if we ate too much.
• Reminding ourselves that we will definitely be able to eat the next time we feel really hungry.

^* * The magazine Appetite in December 2010 published the results of an experiment whose participants ate in the dark: as a result, their portions exceeded the norm by 30%. Learn more at sciencedirect.com