“I”, “you”, “we” — these words not only play a big role in a family dispute, but also testify to the quality of the relationship in a couple.
American scientists Rachel A. Simmons, Peter C. Gordon and Dianne L. Chambless analyzed the conflict conversations of married couples who discussed the problematic aspects of their relationship for 10 minutes and tried to find a solution acceptable to both partners. Comparing the frequency of the use of pronouns with the outcome of the dispute, the researchers noticed that partners who often pronounce “we” have a greater chance of resolving the matter amicably: they do not perceive each other as opponents and share responsibility for resolving the conflict situation. Statements with «you» tend to lead negotiations to a dead end. Those who often use the pronoun «I» are the most satisfied with the state of their relationship.