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“What’s good about me?” Let’s face it, we don’t often ask ourselves this question. And in vain, says psychologist Ilona Bonivell. Consciously developing and using your strengths in everyday life is the most real way to feel happier.
“Probably, I am inquisitive, easily communicate with people, rational… So what? — says 33-year-old Denis. “But how many shortcomings I have: I clearly lack perseverance, I don’t have a clear goal in life, and I don’t know how to forgive at all!”
This view of ourselves is familiar to many of us: we tend to focus on the negative traits of our character and are even ready to work on them from time to time, but for some reason we rarely do justice to our virtues. We rarely notice them, we try to develop and use them more actively in everyday life.
A tool for every day
Meanwhile, the conscious and daily use of the strengths of your personality brings amazing results. Psychological research confirms this.
Thus, one of the experiments conducted in the United States by the leader of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, showed that those who purposefully use at least one of their virtues during the week, the subjective feeling of happiness increases two and a half times – and this feeling lasts for several months.1.
“One of the participants in this experiment worked in a supermarket as a packer,” says Ilona Bonivell. “The study showed that she has a high emotional intelligence, is able to feel and understand the emotions of a wide variety of people.
It would seem, how can these qualities be used in its absolutely mechanical work? But the woman decided to try to find an approach to each buyer, so that he would have the feeling that going to the store was the best moment of the day. I don’t know what she thought of there, but in a week she managed to transform her monotonous work in such a way that she began to love her and felt real satisfaction from life.
Different types of psychotherapy help to master positive strategies
Gallup scientists Donald Clifton and Edward Anderson found that those of us who are ill-informed about our abilities and at the same time set unrealistically high goals for ourselves achieve very little. Conversely, those who know their best qualities and set the bar a little higher than usual, succeed in their business and achieve a lot. They build their lives and careers based on their talents and virtues.2.
Cross-cultural research conducted by Donald Clifton and Edward Anderson has revealed other benefits of knowing your strengths and being able to apply them:
- it helps to better see your life prospects;
- develops optimism and self-confidence;
- awakens energy and increases vitality;
- brings a sense of satisfaction;
- helps you achieve your goals.
“In addition, our body’s resistance is increasing, which has a positive effect on the course of some diseases,” explains Ilona Bonivell. “Thus, a passion for sports inhibits cravings for drugs, and hope and faith help resist depression.”
Different types of psychotherapy help to master positive strategies, which include “the development of buffer (protective) character strengths.”
Talents as a field of activity
The basis of any of the strengths of a personality is talent, that is, the ability to do something, according to American scientists Donald Clifton and Edward Anderson. By improving talents with knowledge and skills, we develop our strengths. And by revealing them in ourselves completely, we achieve success. To develop the best in ourselves, scientists say, we need to understand our talents, believe in them and take responsibility for them. It is important to set clear life goals, be calm about past achievements and develop your talents in practice.
From nature… and more
What traits of our personality can we consider strong? The first thing that usually comes to mind is our talents, abilities inherent in nature, like the ability to draw or write poetry. But that’s not all. Character strengths such as generosity, courage, or passion for one’s work can be developed in oneself. Their frequent use is energizing and often causes positive emotions in others.
In general, there are two main approaches in modern psychology: the classification of strengths and virtues, developed by positive psychologists Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson3, as well as the Gallup Strengths Identifier.
So, positive psychology identifies 24 main virtues. Among them are the love of knowledge and perseverance, kindness and ingenuity, a sense of humor and gratitude. Everyone, scientists emphasize, has its own unique set of individual positive qualities that we intuitively use every day. But as soon as we try to treat them consciously, we literally begin to live in a new way – more vivid, meaningful and full.
“Once I managed to make a serious professional choice precisely thanks to the knowledge of my strengths,” recalls Ilona Bonivell. – At some point, I could not decide which direction to move – to engage in practical psychology or academic science. I filled out a questionnaire and suddenly found out that my strongest side is the love of knowledge. It had never crossed my mind before. I entered doctoral studies, defended my dissertation and teach at the university. I have never regretted my choice.”
New ways to apply our best qualities are not always obvious. But it’s good to give yourself time and opportunity to at least think about them. Recognize their presence. And thus get a powerful impetus for further development.
six virtues
Virtues are the ways in which our virtues (common human moral values) are manifested, according to American psychologists Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson. There are six basic virtues recognized by the peoples of all countries of the world, and 24 virtues through which these virtues express themselves.
- Wisdom and knowledge manifest themselves in the form of interest in the world around us, love of knowledge, critical thinking, ingenuity, emotional intelligence, and the ability to see the future.
- Courage corresponds to courage, perseverance, honesty.
- Love and humanism – they are spoken of by kindness, the ability to love and be loved.
- Justice is expressed in a sense of duty, impartiality, leadership qualities.
- Moderation manifests itself as self-control, prudence, humility.
- Transcendence, or spirituality. Its expression is a sense of beauty, gratitude, hope, faith, mercy and the ability to forgive, a sense of humor, enthusiasm.
Which of these qualities do you have? Those about which you can probably say: “This is really mine! By demonstrating this quality, I get excited, I strive to use it more often. I am sure that I really need this, and besides, the use of this dignity does not tire me, but energizes me, brings a feeling of joy and satisfaction.
About the Developer
Ilona Bonivell – Doctor of Psychology, Head of the Master’s Program in Positive Psychology at the University of East London (UK).
1 M. Seligman, T. Steen, N. Park, C. Peterson «Positive Psychology Progress, Empirical Validation of Interventions». American Psychologist, № 60, 2005.
2 D. Clifton, E. Anderson «StrengthsQuest: Discover and Develop your Strengths in Academics, Career and Beyond». Washington, DC: The Gallup Organization, 2002.
3 For more details, see M. Seligman’s book The New Positive Psychology (Sofia, 2006).