If the voice of your partner who is talking to someone on the phone sounds unusual, you should listen. You may be hearing the sounds of love right now. Women can do that too. Why do we speak in a “different voice” with those we are in love with?
When we talk to a lover, we change the tone of our voice, and so do both men and women. This was found out by psychologists from Albright College, Pennsylvania. They invited 24 young lovers, both men and women, to participate in the study.
To participate in the experiment, it was necessary that the love relationship was at an early stage. In the lab, the psychologists asked each participant to call first their lover (or lover) and then a friend (of the same gender as the caller) to briefly ask how things were going and what the interlocutor was doing now.
The difference in the content of the conversations was minimal, which was later confirmed by 80 independent “judges”. Before suggesting dialogues for listening, they cut out the empty end of the conversation from them. At the same time, the “judges” heard only the voice of the participants in the experiment, but not their interlocutors.
Lovers adjust to each other: in women, the tone of voice becomes deeper, and in men it is higher.
In most cases, the judges understood what they were talking about. But, most importantly, in the first seconds they determined who the participant in the experiment was talking to, not using the meaning of the spoken phrases for this, but focusing only on the change in tone.
Two seconds and the phrase How are you? it turned out to be enough to guess with a probability exceeding random, with whom the participant of the experiment is talking. The voice during a conversation with a lover was perceived by the judges as especially pleasant.
The difficulty lies in the fact that lovers want to look and sound as sexy as possible, but they perceive as sexy a different tone of voice. Someone is more attracted to low, languid intonations, and someone is high and sonorous.
The researchers and their colleagues then studied the sonogram of the conversations. So they discovered that lovers tune in to each other: in women, the tone of voice becomes deeper, and in men it is higher. Thus, sympathy is expressed on the sonogram as a desire to be as similar as possible. The lovers seem to be trying to tell each other and the whole world: “we are together, everyone should know that we are in love.”
Voice changes, although quite different, are not unique to couples at the beginning of a relationship. Having already spent quite a lot of time together, partners become prone to “lisping” (talking in a childish manner, using high notes). Scientists note that this style of communication is an indicator of closeness and strong affection.
However, in the voice of lovers, independent judges also heard stress, anxiety and uncertainty. Researchers attribute this to previous painful relationship experiences and the belief that love hurts. Because of this, the fear of rejection haunts from the very beginning of the relationship.
And how will our telephone conversations sound after many years of married life? And do we want to know?