Raising Boys: Tips for Moms

1. Gentleman

Ideally: Taking her newborn son in her arms, mom is completely sure that she will bring up a real gentleman, a knight who will reach new heights every day and delight women.

Reality. In the modern world, gentlemen are considered smart, educated, gallant men. If educational institutions somehow still cope with education, then it is the parents who are responsible for instilling manners at first. Teach the boy from an early age to give way in transport to women and the elderly. Ask even a very tiny son to help convey light things, because the mother is a woman, and they need to be given the opportunity to be the weaker sex. So you will teach the boy nobility. Show by your example respect for elders, teach how to keep order in your room and keep a neat appearance, let your son feel responsible for his own choices – be sure that your lessons will not be in vain.

2. Miner

Ideally: any sea is knee-deep, any mountains are on the shoulder. The miner always knows where and how to find food and livelihood.

Reality: the family needs to be fed and provided for, and at least for oneself. By the example of his parents, the boy sees from childhood that money does not fall from the sky and does not grow on a tree. Mom and Dad go to work and disappear there all day. But no matter how much they go to their work, all the same, getting out on the weekend “for a walk”, the phrase “It’s too expensive” will be heard several times. And this is the correct phrase! The point is not even whether dad and mom can afford to buy this or that thing, but to show the value of the money earned. We read between the lines: “It’s too expensive for a thing that we don’t need. And money should be spent wisely. ” This approach will teach the child to value work and save on what you can easily do without. After all, a real earner is not only the one who extracts, but also the one who protects.

3. Warrior

Ideally: the enemies wanted to burn down their home, but a strong and brave one came and smeared them on the wall.

Reality: in real life, you have to be a warrior almost every day. After all, even a world without war is full of dangers from other people. Therefore, it is very important for the boy to be able to protect himself and his companion, if such a case presents itself. We return to item 1 and remember that we, women, are the weaker sex. Obviously, when they called us that, they meant just physical abilities. Therefore, we are in dire need of a protector. So we continue to develop the defensive skills of our sons, not only at home, but also on the street, in real situations. For example, have your son take you across the road (read: be extremely careful and try not to leave you both under the wheels of cars). At the same time, Mom herself does not lose her vigilance, but pretends to be absent-minded and frivolous. Realizing the degree of responsibility for the life of another person, the boy learns to survive on his own.

4. Leader

Ideally: the boy should strive for leadership. This is a guarantee of future victories in a difficult, competitive adult life.

Reality: a boy should not strive for leadership. If a boy has leadership qualities, they will certainly show up. But if they are not there, then do not put pressure on the child, but direct his energy in a different direction. Explain that being a responsible person and a professional can be more important.

5. The owner of the house

Ideally: a real man solves all everyday problems without problems. He simply must understand all the variety of tools and materials, must be able to replace a locksmith, plumber, turner and asphalt paver.

Reality: yes, it would be awful how great. And here the example of father and grandfather cannot be overestimated. The older generations know how to do with their hands much more than their descendants. The handy dad naturally and unobtrusively attracts his little son to work. It touches the picture when the baby crawls under the car with a wrench together with his father. But nevertheless, the owner also knows how to delegate authority, and not engage in tyranny, just to assert his authority. A man who knows how to admit his mistakes and his own imperfections deserves more respect. On the other hand, a competent owner can develop the skills of an excellent administrator if he knows where and to whom to contact if necessary.

6. Athlete

Ideally: you send your son to the sports section, because playing sports builds character and fosters a competitive spirit. And with a successful combination of circumstances, this is also a possible profession, because it is very important to think about the future.

Reality: few become outstanding athletes. So do not indulge yourself with illusions if you do not observe the child’s talent and desire. Of course, sport should be present in a boy’s life if his parents care about his health. At the same time, they know their son well and can choose a section with him for his character. Games (football, volleyball, basketball) are suitable for team players, various types of wrestling, boxing, athletics – for individuals. And whatever the ambitions of the parents, if you start breaking the child over the knee, you will get exactly the opposite result.

7. Support

Ideally: you can rely on a real man as on yourself. He always remembers that other members of his family depend on his decisions, that those close to him are counting on him, so he will never let them down.

Reality: it is quite possible to raise a reliable person who can be trusted if from an early age the child is recognized as a person. He doesn’t have to be the way his parents want him to be. He will grow up and live by his own rules. But in order for a boy at a certain age to become aware of himself as a stone wall, he must feel protected. Not loved and cuddled, because initiative is thus eradicated, and not abandoned, because then he himself will not want to trust anyone. Healthy doses of love from both parents, plus a portion of independent, balanced decisions – and now you have in front of you the one who himself knows how to protect, who will lend his shoulder at the right time.

8. Diplomat

Ideally: all conflicts can be resolved with words, and fighting is not at all necessary.

Reality: undoubtedly, the ability to negotiate in life helps a lot. But nevertheless, the boy will feel more confident if his dad (uncle, older brother) shows him a couple of effective tricks. Let it not be necessary to apply them even once in life, but this safety net will give weight to the words in the literal sense of the word.

9. Romantic

Ideally: you teach your son to present flowers and gifts to girls and women, and first of all to mom. You instill that it is important for the female sex to see attention and interest, it is important to feel attractive, and the son, like a real man, should show all this with his emotions. True, right there you tell him that men do not cry. Never.

Reality: no one explains to the boy how emotions should be combined with the absence of emotions. And they shouldn’t. Men cry, because they are people too. Moreover, keeping everything in oneself is harmful to the body. If there is no splash, problems begin in the form of stress, depression, aggression, nervous breakdowns. But men should cry only in strictly defined cases. For example, you shouldn’t cry for them while watching Bambi, but if at that moment your mother has tears in her eyes, tell them that he can give you a napkin or hold your hand. This will also be an important lesson in the separation of emotions by gender: feelings are very good, but they are different for boys and girls.

10. Sage

Ideally: a real man knows the answers, if not all, then most of life’s questions.

Reality: you will not get all the answers from books. Answers appear in parallel with the acquisition of life experience. And you can’t get life experience if you don’t live, but only read smart books in a secluded corner. Vicious circle. No, it is necessary to read, it is imperative, because not only knowledge of the answers in the quiz depends on erudition, but also, for example, a sense of humor, the choice of a future profession. Therefore, let the boy read, but at the same time you cannot lock him in the room, and then expect that one fine day he will wake up as a harmoniously developed personality. Let him live, let him explore the world, let him fill his bumps. Don’t stop him from growing up.

No matter how many discussions are born, there is still no universal and ideal advice on parenting. And yet, the main example for a child is always his family. What is the relationship between parents? How does dad talk to mom? How does mom respond to him? You cannot help your son better than when you analyze your behavior and try to correct uncomfortable moments in time.