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Raising a child: how to teach to say thank you for gifts
Parents were preparing a surprise for a long time, and instead of “thank you” the baby was upset or even burst into tears. What is the reason for this reaction and how can it be avoided?
The ability to give gifts, especially to the youngest recipients, is a real art and knowledge of psychology. But we, adults, often have no time to delve into the intricacies of children’s thinking. Meanwhile, in the early years, even in such a ritual as the ability to give and receive presents, the mechanisms of building relationships with others, the formation of an attitude towards oneself and many other important social skills are hidden. Therefore, parents need to pay attention to the “festive” theme. Show by example how to congratulate loved ones and how to accept gifts yourself. And do not forget to tell the kid about what words to say when receiving a gift, how important it is to value the attention given.
Why is the child not happy to be congratulated?
The simplest reason is not to live up to your baby’s expectations. He had been repeating all month that he wanted a remote-controlled car, and his parents solemnly handed him the railroad. The child could not hold back tears of disappointment.
How can you avoid this situation? Very often we give children something that was a pipe dream for ourselves in childhood. But our childhood passed many years ago, so listen carefully to your baby and give him what he wants. You can make a wishlist and write down all sorts of pleasant presentations with your child. Then, even if you did not find the toy ordered by the kid, it will be easy to please with congratulations. Otherwise, he may gain a foothold in his memory that his desires are not important, that his parents do not appreciate and do not love him.
Another reason is the practical approach to gift selection. Parents look not only at the quality of the toy: so that there are no small dangerous parts, it is durable, but also at the pedagogical function (the toy should teach, instill, etc.). But remember, you need to choose a gift through the eyes of a baby, and he may like unusual and funny comic book characters, mermaid dolls, blue puppies or pink dragons. And in general, perhaps, among the child’s peers, this particular toy, incomprehensible to adults, is the most popular.
How can you avoid this situation? Come to terms with the idea that modern children play Spider-Man, tinker with smeshariki and dream of characters from Minecraft. Observe your child, what cartoons he likes, what toys he often talks about. The main thing in a gift is to make a child happy. So save your educational goals for later.
Spoiled child. Outwardly, it looks like this: the child does not need anything, he has everything and even more. And the gift does not make him happy, receiving gifts is a habitual thing for him.
How can you avoid this situation? This scenario happens in a family where material wealth is paramount. If among older relatives only money is a priority and everything is measured by the thickness of the wallet, then it is useless to demand from the child the joy of a new toy. They are familiar to him, he does not know words of gratitude, in his mind the concepts of “love” and “gifts” are confused. For him, all toys are a manifestation of a prerequisite for the love of parents: you are obliged to give me a gift if you want me to love you. ” Therefore, there is only one advice: start with yourself, reconsider your attitude towards life and loved ones. Alternatively, watch a movie with him about how difficult life is for many children, tell us how important it is to appreciate what you have.
Replacing communication with parents with a gift. Demonstrative refusal of the ordered gift indicates that the son or daughter lacks parental attention or care. And by expressing negative emotions, he is simply trying to draw attention to himself. It is important for a child to spend time with mom and dad, and if they constantly have no time and they seem to pay off their parental responsibilities with gifts, then expect such a reaction.
How can you avoid this situation? Offer to consider the gift together, for example, assemble a railroad, play and try to spend more time talking with the child.
A gift for good behavior. Probably, all parents practice such promises: if you do something good (study well, clean the house, etc.), you will receive a gift for the holiday. But from a pedagogical point of view, this “methodology” is erroneous. A child is loved without any conditions, and a gift is a manifestation of love, care, a desire to make your baby pleasant. And the promotion on the holidays has nothing to do with it.
How can you avoid this situation? There is no need to deserve a gift for the holiday, it is given to a child out of love first of all. Don’t draw parallels between congratulations and parenting.