Almost every smoker with experience at least once in his life tried to quit a bad habit. I bought the last pack, smoked it out and went for a new one. Neither the awareness of the terrible consequences, nor the aversion to tobacco aftertaste, nor the contempt for one’s own weaknesses, did not save from the desire to smoke. Familiar story? Psychologist Natalya Luchnikova has formulated rules that stop the mechanism that triggers thoughts about cigarettes.
Rule 1
It is important to understand and accept the truth: no one but yourself can help. Stop rushing for a «lifeline» to other people. They either do not understand what the problem is or cannot solve it. Before moving on, ask yourself the question: “Do you like smoking?”
Think well. The indignant answer: “No, of course not!” — not always true. Among those who want to quit, there are many who like to smoke. But let’s start with those who sincerely answered: «No.» Such a contradictory answer may be due to the fact that before the smoker simply did not ask himself this question. He smoked out of habit. Such people, as a rule, smoke a lot and everywhere, smoke a cigarette before going to bed and in the morning first of all reach for a new portion of nicotine.
They take out another cigarette, finding that something familiar is missing in their hands, in the air, on their lips.
Stories about the dangers of smoking, pictures of charred lungs on the packaging do not affect them, because they do not think about the causes of smoking, nor about the consequences. In their picture of the world, these questions simply do not exist, and the process itself is carried out automatically. A pack is always at hand: he took out a cigarette, lit it, inhaled, finished smoking, put it out. They take out another cigarette, obeying not the urge or desire to smoke, but simply discovering that something familiar is missing in their hands, air, lips. It is like storing an unnecessary, old thing left by someone, which lies until the owner of the house asks: “Do I need it?” Smiling, he will say “no” and throw it away as unnecessary.
For most habitual smokers, an honest answer to the question, “Do I like smoking?” is enough to give up cigarettes. The answer «no» frees them from nicotine addiction instantly. And there are many examples of this.
Rule 2
Things are different for those who, despite the obsessive desire to quit smoking, reach for a cigarette, following a quiet whisper: «I like smoking.» And this timid voice defeats all reasonable arguments about the dangers of smoking and the benefits of quitting cigarettes. He is so plaintive and pitiful that you certainly want to calm him down with a couple of puffs.
For those who like to smoke, the desire to grab a cigarette arises in response to a specific emotion. There is a situation in which this emotion manifests itself. You need to either deal with it or suppress it with a cigarette. In such a situation, strength, will and will power are inferior. This emotion is very ancient, and its chances of winning are almost one hundred percent.
The preponderance of forces appears only when we detect and recognize this emotion. Its name is fear. Ordinary, primitive fear, retaining its strength until it remains unidentified. It consists in one thing: the fear of not coping with … Here comes the moment of truth: what do you refuse to deal with constructively, consciously, suppressing your strength, opportunities and ability to take over with a cigarette? There are as many answers as there are life situations. For example, you can smoke during a quarrel or after it for fear of being misunderstood, depressed, offended and humiliated. If you decide to quit smoking, then the next step is to admit to yourself: no matter what happens, I can handle it!
You can often hear opinions about the role of willpower in quitting smoking. Relying on it as salvation is a utopia. The will is broken by the same emotion of fear. Of course, you can refuse a cigarette by willpower, but this refusal will be temporary. As soon as the fear arises, which you are used to coping with, inhaling tobacco smoke, your hand will reach for a cigarette. To completely abandon a bad habit, it is important to understand what you are running from. The answers will give confidence that you can cope without a cigarette, which gives only a five-minute respite, but does not relieve fear.
Rule 3, 4, 5
Recognize that you are a strong enough person. You don’t have to underestimate yourself. Remember, no matter what happens, you can handle it. Play the emotion of fear to the end, asking yourself the question: “What will happen if this happens?” When you get the answer, ask yourself again: “What will happen if this happens?” So until you understand that there is nothing to be afraid of.
As long as you think as before, actions and reactions will remain the same.
Having realized what mechanism triggers the desire to smoke, you can stop it at any time without tension and self-flagellation for your own impotence.
Rule 6
It depends on you how to behave in situations in which destructive emotions appear. This is your choice. Each time, it will become easier and easier for you to choose yourself, and not an emotion.
Learn to rid yourself of any negative emotions by choosing a solution instead of negativity. Yes, it’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.
Rule 7
Fill yourself with something truly interesting. Of great importance is the fullness of the thoughts of those who have decided to give up cigarettes. If nothing changes in the worldview, nothing new, interesting, bright, appears in life, it is likely that you will again hear a pitiful voice: «I would like to smoke now …»
Along with the desire to give up a bad habit, look for alternatives for new thoughts. As long as you think as before, actions and reactions will remain the same. And no one for you will invent and find those amazing things and activities that will captivate more and more every day, occupying the space previously occupied by cigarettes. «I can handle!» — repeat to yourself every time you need to decide to take a new step forward or not step back.