Whatever Hollywood movies try to instill in us, good sex does not require subdued lights, carefully selected music, and even long foreplay. If you wait until everything is perfect, you may never have sex.
“I often ask clients: would you rather have some sex or no sex at all? Some believe that everything should be perfect — you need to take a shower, put on clean sheets, leave the children with a nanny, ”says psychotherapist and sexologist Holly Richmond.
In fact, for stunning sex, everything is not necessarily perfectly prepared. Spontaneous, quick sex in the spirit of «I want you right now» can be even more exciting than long lovemaking in bed. “He is beautiful in his spontaneity, which excites and turns the head, and this is often not enough for partners in long-term relationships,” says Richmond.
Intrigued? Here are some more arguments in favor of quick and spontaneous sex:
1. It’s perfect for busy people. Most people are constantly short of time, so often quick sex becomes the only option. Holly Richmond believes that this option will suit many, and especially parents with young children: “It is difficult to have a rich sex life, regularly making love for a long time when you have a child under four years old.” But carving out 5-10 minutes while he sleeps is quite realistic.
2. Spontaneous sex gives energy. “Have you noticed a surge of energy when something amazing and unexpected happens? It’s the same with sex — short, unplanned intimate contact can give a lot of energy. After that, you will return to your daily activities with a smile on your face and the thought “What an amazing moment (and often it’s really just a moment) we had a chance to experience today!” Richmond says.
Quickie: how to master the art of fast sex?
3. Both of you will feel welcome. Despite mutual love and attraction, the worries and troubles associated with work and daily routine often prevent you from feeling again that crazy desire that initially attracted each other. When partners live together for a long time, passion begins to fade, but spontaneous sex will help bring it back. You will again feel needed and desired, as at the beginning of a relationship.
How to make quickie sex a habit?
Next time you and your partner are in bed with your tablets on? or you will have ten minutes before the guests arrive, or when you take your morning shower, offer to have some fun. “You can simply offer: “Let’s do it right now, in a quick way? Let’s take five minutes for each other?»
Of course, none of this means that quick sex should completely replace long candlelit lovemaking, “especially since it takes about 20 minutes for most women to reach orgasm during sex with a partner,” says Richmond.
Yes, with fast sex, a woman does not always manage to achieve an orgasm. “But sometimes that’s not the only point,” adds the expert. — Do you need to feel intimacy with a partner or experience an orgasm? Usually we want both, but you can experience an orgasm on your own. In fact, we crave intimacy, a feeling of novelty, an exciting adventure, and quick, spontaneous sex can give us this.