How to return to life if everything was given to another person, “drowned in love”, forgotten and reviewed in his (not his) favor? The opinion of the psychotherapist Ekaterina Mikhailova.
Ekaterina Mikhailova, psychotherapist:
“You did well that you wrote — this is where the “return to yourself” begins. Olga, you have entered into a relationship that is destroying you. “For the sake of a man” — but in fact, under his pressure — they quit their jobs, friends, hobbies. Further — emotional and physical abuse, attempts to leave, shame, fear and a sense of hopelessness. Tests will make sense if you understand what lured you into this relationship, from which you hid in them. The very idea of sacrifice and giving up oneself “for His sake” is a rotten idea, but a popular one. In the place of a Man there can be a Child or even the Work of a Lifetime. The very idea is vicious: something or someone will give you everything, replace everything, and as long as you have “it”, everything else is unimportant. You have to seriously analyze the whole story, otherwise you will again get entangled in the next «for the sake of it.» And in order to have enough strength and courage for difficult work, try to restore relationships with those who know and respect you. (But don’t let us «save» ourselves — this reinforces the role of the victim.) I warn you honestly: it will break you a lot. It will seem to you that “such a” world will not accept you, you are no longer interesting to anyone, you will not find a job … Listen carefully to this inner whisper and remember: this is your own “tempter”, it is he who pushes you to give self-esteem into the wrong hands. But it’s not all of you. If you feel that you can’t cope, contact the professionals: every person sometimes cannot cope with something alone.”