Question to the expert: “Why, when it doesn’t work out, you don’t want to do anything”

Anna Skavitina, children’s analyst

“Misha, thank you, very good question. Many children and adults suffer from this problem. It is believed that if you want to achieve a goal, you need to have perseverance and perseverance. And this is more important than many talents. The most difficult thing is to continue the business, even when you want to quit everything. It often happens that when you start doing something, you are full of desire, enthusiasm, it seems that you will move mountains. But after the rise there always comes a decline, and at this moment something starts to go wrong. Here we would have to show perseverance, but we lose heart and give up. Because I really want to return back to a pleasant state, when everything worked out. But we are people, not robots, we have the right to make mistakes. Try to apply the “five minute rule”: when you are ready to quit, tell yourself: “Right now I will continue.” And agree with yourself that you continue to do this thing for another five minutes. And after five minutes, you have the right to stop doing it. But if suddenly you really want to continue, then, of course, continue! Whatever the case, you will know for sure that you have at least tried it. And there is a very high probability that you will want to return to the abandoned business! Look around, look at your friends: how they cope with situations when they have a desire to give up. If they are next to you – those who do not give up, but know how to overcome themselves – then, looking at them, you will be able to join them more easily.