Question to the expert: “Why does my new roommate scare me?”

Ekaterina Mikhailova, psychotherapist:

“It happens that we meet people who have a strange effect on us. I won’t say that “it seemed to you” – I didn’t see your neighbor, but I’m not strong in black magic. But I will share two thoughts. It seems that the neighbor deliberately plays along with the stereotypical idea of ​​fortune-tellers and witches – a heavy look, heavily let down dark eyes, silence, rumors about her witchcraft practice … The question arises – why does she need this? I think that unusualness, a special status is achieved with these minimal means. You write that your neighbor works as a cutter in an atelier, and rents an apartment in your solid house. That is, she lives surrounded by strangers who have a stronger position, and such a game helps her feel more confident. But the main thing is your reaction. We tend to see the prophetic and mysterious in the most simple and ordinary when we are anxious and uncomfortable. It’s as if it’s not a woman who has gone too far with eyeshadows that enters the elevator, but downright death with a scythe. But you yourself ascribed significance and formidable power to her, that’s the point. And then I have a question: what worries you so much now, after leaving your daughter for another city? Perhaps you feel insecure because you are not used to living alone. Perhaps the crisis is oppressing you, there is no certainty in the future, everything is mixed up … Be that as it may, think about the reasons for your anxiety that are not related to the gloomy “masquerade” neighbor.