Internal contradictions cause tension and prevent our lightness, openness, interest in new acquaintances and impressions from manifesting. Then what we fear happens in reality: we are not noticed, ignored, passed by.
“I can’t understand why I didn’t have a serious love relationship? I’m sure it’s not about looks. Character? Aura? What do I repulse? My peers have been dating young people for more than a year. A strange sense of inferiority, or something. How can I overcome the complex?
Maria, 19 years old
Lucy Mikaelyan, psychologist:
“Feeling that something is wrong with you and that you are not worthy of love and recognition for who you are can influence how you behave with young people. You both want relationships and fear them. Internal contradictions usually cause tension and prevent lightness, openness and interest in new acquaintances, new impressions from manifesting. And then what we fear happens in reality: we are not noticed, ignored, passed by. Which, in turn, convinces that yes, “I’m flawed”, “some kind of not like that.”
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- love your loneliness
Imagine a river flowing from the past into the future. This river of our desires and hopes. And now the riverbed was blocked by a stone or a snag. The river tries to go around the obstacle, twists into whirlpools. If the barrier is large, the water begins to erode the banks, the smooth and natural flow is disturbed. The obstacle is our fears that appeared sometime in the past, but continue to influence us in the present and change the future. It is necessary to free the channel, reduce the barrier. Observe yourself: how you feel in companies where there are young people, how you behave, how you perceive them and yourself. At what point does tension occur? What do you do then? Does it look like something that has happened to you before? How is the situation in the past different from the present? Pay attention to the “exceptions to the rules”, they always exist: remember situations when tension could have arisen, but did not arise. What was different back then? Self-observation and introspection has a liberating effect – the established patterns and habitual ways of behavior cease to control us, and then something new will certainly happen.