Question to the expert: “When and how should I tell my child about sex?”

If neither parent is ready to talk to their children about sex – positively, as part of close relationships, natural pleasure, then good children’s books about sex for different ages that can just lie at home will be the way out.

“I have two children: a son of 7 years old, a daughter of a year and a half. Thank you so much for your books! They helped me a lot: I began to better understand myself, my parents, I try to understand and be closer to the children. There is a desire and energy to work on oneself, and it is obvious that there are significant shifts! Interested in your opinion: to whom (mother, father, uncle, “street”) and how (through conversation, books, special films) to at least slightly reveal the topic of sexual relations? My son is 7 years old and just going to school. In the yard, I learned a decent amount of words from the mat, periodically trying to find out their meaning from my parents. Natalia Klimenko, 32 years old

Irina Mlodik, psychologist, psychotherapist:

“Thank you for your kind words about my books. I am very glad that you are reading them. Of course, children will ask a lot about sex, especially at 7 years old. Closer to the pre-adolescent age, they will no longer ask. In the book, I wrote about not telling children about the details of your sex life. And in principle, it is quite possible to talk about sex, preferably answering the question directly, but without unnecessary details and first trying to understand what exactly interests the child. Otherwise, we often project our already developed, adult sexual experience onto a childish question about sex. Like in that anecdote or scene that I once read about on the Internet. Two brothers, aged seven and nine, are watching a movie when a sex scene begins to unfold in the back seat of a large car. The brothers freeze and begin to carefully peer at the TV. Mom is embarrassed and thinks what she should do to distract the children. Suddenly, one of them says with an aspiration, pushing the other with his elbow: “I saw what a cool Cadillac!” About swear words, you can say that this is the language that adults use among themselves, as a rule, men or boys, who want to appear as such, in order to either hurt each other, offend harder, or sometimes they get so angry (this could be would finish if your son had not asked the next question, what do these words mean). They use words that refer to intimate parts of the body or activities, wanting to hurt or hurt each other more, they simply often call names that way. The parent who is more ready for it can tell children about sex: talk about sex in a positive way, as part of a close relationship, as a natural pleasure. If both are not ready, then there are good children’s books about sex for different ages that can just lie at home.

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