Question to the expert: “What should I do if I have hardened my soul?”

Lack of feelings is also a signal. What is our psyche trying to convey to us in this way?

“Recently, I can not experience any feelings – love, compassion, pity. I wasn’t like…”

Nattia, 28 years old

EKATERINA MIKHAILOVA, PSYCHOTHERAPIST:

“You are in a difficult life situation. A disabled child, a drinking husband, overloads of all possible and impossible types – this can hardly be endured without consequences. You experience various negative feelings that cannot be shown. It is impossible to deal with a child (every day!) in a state of despair or anger, they must not only be suppressed, but really stop experiencing. You write that you “have developed spiritual callousness”: there is no aching pity at the sight of abandoned dogs, old people and crying children. At the same time, you can shed a tear over a book or movie. For me, this proves that you need help and support, well, at least the opportunity to cry. Your callousness resembles a burnout syndrome. It doesn’t just happen to people who work. A lot has fallen on you over the past eight years, you had to overcome and drag a lot – but you can’t see a halt, resources are not renewed … Now about the good: you lasted for a long time, which means that your resilience is still high. You are observant and notice your reactions, which means that the “navigation systems” are in order. Thank you for your “callingness” – it served as a sign that it was time to take care of yourself, and without delay. But in one form or another, you need help. You had to invent so many things for your daughter that you can think of something for yourself. If you accept it as an idea, the source and the form will surely be found. I wish you this from the bottom of my heart.”

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