A father may have different attitudes to the unsuccessful marriage of his daughter, but the best strategy in any case is not to fight, but to support.
“I can’t accept the fact that my daughter is married to a scoundrel! My son-in-law married my daughter because of the apartment and does not hide it, he is cheating on her. She is deeply unhappy. I am ready to kick him out of the house, but my daughter asks not to interfere in her life … “Vladimir, 53 years old
Ekaterina Mikhailova, psychologist:
“A father can relate to the unsuccessful marriage of his daughter in different ways. But in your letter there is such a note of despair, as if it were an irreparable grief. A few years after the death of your wife, you are so accustomed to being responsible for your daughter that you perceive her family troubles as a personal defeat, a personal shame. You never got married, there were always two of you, you once worried about her health and grades, then for her personal life. Now she has a far from ideal, but a husband – and she is not going to part with him. Moreover, you write that she wants to have children from this man. Imagine for a moment that the marriage has survived and children are actually born. They are a family, and who are you to them in this case? Beloved grandfather or someone else’s “uncle” with eternal discontent on his face? Your daughter appears to be a sensible young woman who is getting on with her life. You are the one suffering. Vladimir, I understand your indignation and bitterness. But if you do not want to poison the life of your daughter and hope to tinker with your grandchildren, now the most important thing is not to fight, but to support. Give up the unenviable role of the “noble father”, who is right in everything, but endlessly lonely. Both you and she can change your life more than once: you are not an old man, but a middle-aged man, you can also have your own children. And ten years from now, things may not look the same as they do now. Please do not deprive yourself, your daughter and your relationship with her of the future.”