What to do if classmates call names? How to swallow the tears that have come? Opinion of children’s analyst Anna Skavitina.
“When they call me names in class, I start crying. Nobody wants to be friends with me…”
Yana, 9 years old
Anna Skavitina, children’s analyst:
“I understand how upset you are. Yana, many girls have similar thoughts and grief. Believe me, the fact that they call you unpleasant names does not mean at all that the guys really consider you crazy or a fool! They said in their hearts, and after five minutes they no longer remember it. Almost all children call names, using offensive words. And they do not know the power of these words, they do not know how painfully they can hurt. You are a very emotional girl and attach a lot of importance to words, so it is more difficult for you than for others. You quarrel because they are very different. Everyone has their own opinion on this or that matter. You, too, often find them stupid or nasty. And you, too, sometimes offend them, maybe without noticing it. Such quarrels are the usual life of girlfriends and classmates. And we must learn to live with it. Don’t get offended right away. Mentally count to 20, sing a song to yourself or say a rhyme. This will calm you down a bit. During this pause, you can compose an answer. For example, when Petya calls you a fool, you can say: “But you, Petya, are such a smart, polite boy, it’s just nice to talk with you!” Such answers are puzzling, and it becomes difficult to continue to call names. Try. I’m sure you will succeed. And sometimes quarrels are even necessary! They give you the opportunity to express what’s on your heart. And they can even improve relations, provided that after a quarrel you make peace and explain yourself.