“Feeling that life has broken down” … How can a teenager whose parents decide to leave live on?
Anna Skavitina, children’s analyst:
“Artem, I really sympathize with you — you are in a difficult situation. It seems to you that life has broken down because too many things have changed in it. And so abruptly that it is difficult to get used to it and deal with it. You now live with your mother and grandmother. They try to soften your feelings, but you are still angry: you have lost your usual place of life, friends, school, the space where you were safe and well. Now you have the feeling that the whole world seems to have become blacker. But there is something in your life that will never go anywhere! For example, your friends from the old school and at home. You, as before, can keep in touch with them, meet, chat on the phone, go for a walk together, spend time and communicate on social networks. And I also want to tell you that your mom and dad, even if they stopped living together, remained your parents and continue to love you. They divorced because they couldn’t do it any other way. But they didn’t do it to spite you or because of you. And although you are now angry with your parents, this does not mean that your love for them has become less. Now you are upset and think — nothing will work out in a new place, there will be no friends in your new life, everything looks incomprehensible and very disturbing. But there is a possibility that the situation will develop differently: there will be new people, new friends, activities — if you give them a chance to enter your life. I believe that you will have the strength to find in this new life the joy and pleasure of communication, in addition to those serious sorrows that you have experienced.