What decision to make: become like them or remain yourself? Comment by child analyst Anna Skavitina.
“My best friend hooked up with guys who smoke, drink and swear. She is no longer interested in me. And it’s hard for me, but I don’t want to be with them … “
Ira, 12 years old
Anna Skavitina, children’s analyst
“Ira, it’s not easy for you now. You are very worried and upset. But here we must try to understand: your girlfriend made her choice in favor of other guys and other interests. And they are not close to you. You correctly write that no one becomes an adult from smoking, drinking and swearing. And only plays in adults in this way. A cigarette in hand for these guys is like a special “sign” that helps them feel more confident. It often happens that when such guys grow up, they manage to be successful in some area and they no longer need such ways of demonstrating their “maturity”. Judging by the fact that you are not ready to spend time with them, and they call you a dull scribbler, you have another part of life where you are successful and where you do not need to play in these supposedly adult games. Ira, look around. You will find that this girl is not the only person who can understand you and who can be trusted with your secrets. Somewhere near you there are those who are closer to you in terms of interests. With these guys, you will definitely not be lonely and sad anymore.