Contents
Parents do not give consent to the mixed marriage of children. What is the reason – is it only in national intolerance, or is it mixed with a deeper motive?
“I am dating a young man, we love each other and want to get married. But my parents are categorically against it, because my beloved is of a different nationality. I could not convince them that this is my choice. My parents are the closest people to me, their opinion is of great importance to me. I do not want this situation to lead to a serious conflict in the family, and I am afraid of losing my loved one.
Anna, 23 of the year
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- What are parents responsible for?
Ekaterina Mikhailova, psychologist:
“National prejudice is a real and formidable force that sometimes leads to severe conflict. And yet, in such situations, the excessive simplicity of the arguments is alarming: “They are against my chosen one (or chosen one) only because …”, “They do not accept me because …”. But in the many sad stories about the destroyed mixed unions, there are other painful topics hiding in the shadow of national intolerance. For example, the theme of power and influence.
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- Parents – children: 8 steps to independence
Many parents are not ready to “give in” their son or daughter to his/her adult and independent personal life. If the chosen ones of the children (and their parents, which is important) are “their own” – of the same nationality – not everything is lost: there are general rules and norms, so the child will not go anywhere. If the younger generation makes a choice in favor of the “alien”, this in itself is perceived by the older ones as a clear sign of leaving their control, a kind of escape.
It is no coincidence that those who “transgressed” family tradition, as a rule, were obedient and respectful children. Perhaps their struggle for sovereignty was expressed in the family’s shocking choice. In this case, the rejection of the chosen ones by the parents simply brings to the surface a long-overdue conflict. According to my observations, happy mixed marriages are more often concluded between people who have already sufficiently separated from their parental families and forced them to reckon with any of their decisions.