Do you think that you are not like everyone else, you have no friends and you have been told more than once that you are behaving strangely? Could this be a sign of a mental disorder? Ekaterina Mikhailova, a psychotherapist and expert of the journal Psychologies, answers.
Anonymous, 24 years old
“I passed all the tests that were interesting to me, could you add new ones (especially under the “personality” section)? And why don’t I have friends? I don’t care, but one adult with a psychological education told me a long time ago that when at least one is missing, this is a sign of mental abnormalities. I periodically remember these words when someone says that I’m a psycho and I should be treated, in my opinion, I’m just too cool, but sometimes I can be strange, yes. And there is another person with whom I still wanted to make friends, but I did not succeed. It’s just important to me that it’s not a sign of mental illness. I don’t work (my parents aren’t dead yet and they give me money even though I don’t like them and they suck). It is clear that tests are needed, a personal meeting, but maybe something can be said about my psyche? Sometimes I talk complete nonsense, I get angry; I am a talker and not very neat (hands do not reach, although I am not busy with anything). So it goes”.
Ekaterina Mikhailova
So, dear Anonymous: or you have a plainly unspoken question, or you can not read further. Every letter is somewhat similar to the author, and yours too: thoughts jump, then one thing is remembered, then another … It seems scary that some is not like that, there are no friends, you don’t like your parents, you don’t work, but you go – I want new tests, and certainly “about personality”. And all for the sake of answering the question “Am I crazy”?
Of course not. You are asking for something else: tell me who I am, because I myself do not understand this. This happens at 16-17 years old, but you are 24. And apparently, you live like a teenager …
It would be nice to find out what you can do well, what abilities have not developed in that talkative chaos in which you drown the alarm.
And I’ll tell you this: you are not a “crazy”, but just a very, very neglected person, lonely, restless, and a mess in my head. Maybe your parents really didn’t raise you properly, but they won’t grow up anymore. So the only option is to educate yourself.
And I would start not with friends, but with attention, thinking and speech. If you are interested in tests – great, find a way to test your attention and solve logic puzzles. If necessary, find exercises for attention, even for children, no one will know anyway. Breaking will be terrible: boring, tedious, and you are “too cool”, yeah. But until you teach yourself at least some kind of composure and patience, nothing else will work either, it will continue to throw from “scary” to “do not care” and vice versa, and life passes.
There is a lot of energy, but without a goal it drives in a circle, attached to nothing. It would be good to find out what you can do well, what abilities did not develop in that talkative chaos in which you drown the alarm. Your oddities are of no interest to anyone, so stop flaunting them, but you really need help. Only you don’t know how to get it, and no one has it. So all hope is in yourself – such as it is.
About expert
Ekaterina Mikhailova — coach, business trainer, consultant, professor at Moscow State Pedagogical University and the Higher School of Economics, member of the board of directors of the International Association for Group Psychotherapy and Group Processes (IAGP). Vice President of the Psychodrama Association (Russia).