Maybe it’s just a matter of thoughtfulness, concentration or absent-mindedness? And what should parents do if the child is zealous? Explanations of the child analyst.
I like to gnaw my fingers, pencils, brushes or suck on strings from a sweater. Mom scolds me… Why am I doing this?
Dasha, 8 years old
Anna Skavitina, children’s analyst:
Dasha, when children are born, they have only one way to find out how this world works: they put everything they can reach into their mouths. Look at the kids – see for yourself. So the world for young children becomes clearer and safer. When children grow up, there are other ways to find out how everything works: to take objects in hand, to examine, to listen, to smell, to speak, to ask questions. Growing up, children understand that it is pleasant and safe to explore the world, and this feeling of security is a pleasure. You are already 8 years old, which means that you already know how to use a variety of methods to figure out how everything around works. I can imagine that fingers and pencils go into your mouth when you are anxious about something. This is your way of calming down. Ask your mother, you probably did this even when you were very young, if your mother went into the next room or left the house on business.
But sometimes you are not just worried, but also angry, angry with someone. And how to explain your anger, to express it, you do not know yet. Dasha, the next time you start nibbling something, it can be an important signal for you: you started to get angry. And then you can try to understand: who am I really angry at right now? Or what is bothering me right now? Think about it and talk as if inside yourself with yourself. But even better, if you have the opportunity to talk about it with a girlfriend, mom or someone you trust. If you learn to express your feelings in words, the desire to “nibble” will go away by itself, and it will also mean that you are becoming an adult.