Contents
Newlyweds are often completely infatuated with each other. Could this be a hindrance to their social life? Why is it possible to lose interest in the outside world in marriage and how to find a balance between the family role and the desire for personal development?
“I work as an accountant, married for six months, no children. Before meeting my husband, I tried to fill my free time with interesting activities, talked with friends, made new acquaintances. And recently I began to notice that I lost the desire to learn something new, to learn something. I seemed to hide in a mink and do not want to stick out. As soon as I have an idea – to take a driving course or a foreign language, change jobs, go in for sports – at the same time there are many excuses. And it’s worth taking the first step, after a day I begin to convince myself that I don’t have time for this or I just don’t need it. I cannot understand what has changed in me. I feel that my interest is concentrated only on my husband. The thought that I will stop in development and my life will turn into a routine scares me. What is happening to me?”
Catherine, 24 of the year
Read more:
- “We are born to live life to the fullest”
Lucy Mikaelyan, family therapist:
“Catherine, you don’t tell us what new and valuable additions your life has made during your marriage. From the outside, it seems absolutely natural that a girl who recently got married rejoices in closeness with her husband and is in no hurry to return to her usual “premarital” activity. But something about these regular changes makes you uneasy, and hence a few questions:
Does your husband like your focus on him? And how exactly do you focus on it? Does it lead to collaborative activities? Are you both doing well at this time? What do you think, can family life not be a routine? Is one’s own development necessarily associated with the acquisition of various skills (driving a car, foreign languages, sports, etc.)? Can a relationship with a loved one become a source of new knowledge? Does marriage provide an opportunity to learn something important to you?
Read more:
- Love that reveals us
How do you see yourself as a married woman? How to find a balance between social and intra-family activity, between independence and getting support, between individuality and a sense of “we”? I think the decisions that you implement in your life will be unique in some ways, and based in some ways on the experience of people who are significant to you. It may be helpful for you to focus on how different examples (both frightening and inspiring) influence your idea of yourself as a new person as a spouse and a person who appreciates the new and the unknown. And certainly the opinion of the husband, whose marriage became, as follows from the letter, the cause of the changes that disturb you, deserves to be heard.