What to do if friends started something that you don’t want to participate in? What is more important – justice or friendship? .. These questions are difficult to answer not only for children, but for adults.
“The boys in our class have fallen in love with a girl, they are arguing for money with whom she will go to a disco. I would like to warn her, but then it turns out that I betrayed my friends … “
Roma, 12 years old
“Anna Skavitina, children’s analyst: Roma, you really got into a difficult situation. On the one hand, you want to help your classmate, and on the other hand, you are afraid of losing your friendship with the boys. In fact, this story is about how boys exhibit themselves in front of each other, compete. You do not want to enter into this game with them, it seems dishonest and ignoble to you. I don’t know if you dare to argue with boys in other situations. Now you are afraid of “becoming a traitor”, but it seems that you are simply afraid to compete with them, because you are afraid of losing.
Believe me, Roma, your classmates are also very afraid of losing. And each of them does not dare to approach the girl himself. That is why they started this “collective” dispute. If you really like a classmate, you can invite her to a disco or to the cinema yourself. I’m wondering why you didn’t come up with that idea yourself. Maybe because you, like other boys, are also afraid to overcome yourself, your timidity and approach it? In a word, right now you have every chance to show your courage and nobility, and at the same time start communicating with the girl.