It is interesting for any child to find out what his parents were like in childhood: what they played, what they dreamed about, with whom they were friends. What exactly should you tell them about yourself, and what should you not tell them?
“When I grow up, will I be able to tell my son or daughter all about my childhood?”
Alice, 11 years old
Anna Skavitina, children’s analyst:
Alice, interesting question. I think that at home, relatives are trying to shame you in this way – they say, how are you behaving, how can you look your children in the eyes later! I think this: when you grow up and you have your own children, you will decide for yourself what to tell them about yourself. This is just your own business. There is no such thing as “right” or “wrong”. I am sure that all children are very interested in learning about how their parents grew up, what they dreamed about, what they played, what they liked or disliked, what frightened, upset, pleased, how they communicated with family and friends. You know, there is even such a book by Alexander Raskin “How Dad Was Little”. The kids love reading it and I highly recommend it.
Read more:
- Linor Goralik: “Our childhood is a story of refusing temptations”
I am sure that you are now also interested in learning more about the childhood of your parents. Perhaps it seems to you that you should not do something like that, do some “wrong” things for which you will be ashamed and which your son or daughter will later find out about. But it will be interesting for your children to learn not only about the good things in your life, but also about your bad deeds, about your thoughts and mistakes that you are making now. How did you solve these problems and get out of difficult situations. Therefore, it is not worth it now (in advance) to build your life in such a way that “then you will not be ashamed in front of your children”, which do not yet exist. It is important that you live your life interestingly, the way you want to. Surely you already have successes and good luck that you can share. There will be more in the future. The main thing is that you get pleasure and joy from what you like – here and now.