We come into this world to live our own unique life, not to live up to anyone else’s expectations.
“Dad saw himself in me all his life. At the age of 5, I had to solve examples with negative numbers, and any of my successes were accompanied by statements: “That’s right, that’s how it should be.” It is difficult for me to fight the fact that they used to perceive me as a person incapable of making a mistake. Any failure causes despair, tears well up. I’m not talking about the resistance to my father, which every time turns into hysteria for me. I perfectly understand that it’s impossible to do this, that it’s ridiculous to get upset because of such nonsense, but I can’t squeeze smiles out of myself, and if someone tries to support me, then it’s even more scary – and a sea of tears! How to be? How to learn to control your emotions?
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SASH, 18 years old
Tatyana Bednik, psychologist:
“You ask how to learn to control your emotions, but perhaps more important for you is to learn to accept yourself with all your difficulties and imperfections. A person comes into this world to live his own, unique life, and not at all in order to meet someone else’s expectations. You associate your difficulties with childhood, but your childhood has already passed, and now nothing can be changed. Your father’s behavior was certainly dictated by love and care. He simply expressed them the way he could, the way he had been taught in his own family. Try to treat the words of the father as an expression of his own difficulties, sympathize with him. By blaming your father for your misfortunes, you thereby shift the responsibility for your life onto him. This is the road to nowhere. Take responsibility for your own life and move forward. And remember, mistakes are inevitable along the way. But remember that by doing them, we gain invaluable experience for ourselves.