It’s embarrassing, I want to run away and hide. And most importantly, he may not understand that this is not a game, but the truth. How to be? Opinion of children’s analyst Anna Skavitina.
“The boy in the class constantly confesses his love to me in front of everyone. Why is he doing this? I tell him I don’t like it.”
Alice, 9 years old
Anna Skavitina, children’s analyst:
“Boys like it, of course, it’s nice. But sometimes, Alice, they do get too annoying. Your classmate is only 9 years old, and he is not yet very good at expressing his feelings. Besides, he seems to have decided that you are a very important person to him. And that it is you who can give him something that is very little or not at all in his life – attention, kindness, responsiveness. You are not just a girl Alice for him, but a kind of dream, an ideal. Therefore, when you tell him that you do not like how he shows his feelings, he really does not hear you. After all, he is not in a relationship with you, but with his dream. An important point: when you say that you are uncomfortable, the boy may think that this is such a game. As if with these words, on the contrary, you make it clear that he continues to behave the same way. With boys and men, you need to speak specifically. If you want him to carry your briefcase, say so. Don’t expect him to figure out on his own that you need help. So that he can hear you, talk to him one on one. Say it straight: “If you write me notes, give them to me when I’m alone. Otherwise there will be no friendship.